If you're happy and you know it ...

... blog about it. For a week now, I've been in such a good place. That's a pretty good stretch given that for weeks before now my emotions have been all over the map. And I've often blogged about being in a funk. I'm not now. Every time I take a minute to think about how I feel at that moment, I feel happy ... and very calm, cool and collected. I love the sense of balance I seem to have found. For the first time since I can remember, my brain is quiet. I'm not obsessing about anything.

What's changed? Nothing really, except that I was reminded in a roundabout way that by nature I'm very centered and focused. I'm not letting stuff bother me. Or maybe I'm just in some sort of denial. Doesn't matter. I love the way I feel right now. Calm really is the best way to describe it, which is strange because I'd also say I'm so excited ... all the time.

I was telling someone at work that part of my strategy is to take time each night to think about what made me happy that day. I don't start each day thinking about what will make me happy, but I do end the day thinking about what did. And there are so many things. I also try to make sure I savor the good moments throughout the day. Sometimes, the simplest thing can make me smile. I love those moments best.

So, if you're happy and you know it, share the wealth.

Is it time to push myself to do more?

I had lunch with a new friend today and I left feeling completely inspired. We talked about a bunch of things, but the upshot is that I think I might be ready to take on more physical activity. I know it would be good for me. I have enjoyed walking for exercise, but it is kind of boring.

An e-mail later in the day from this friend might be the push I need. She said: "You'll probably be surprised at just how much you can do." I know she's right.

The more weight I lose, the stronger I feel. And, of course, the better I feel. I know more physical activity would help shape my body. It's time to take the leap. I just need something to convince what the right thing to do is. Do a join a gym? Do I get a trainer? Do I keep trying to do it myself?

I'd welcome advice.

On a related note, this new friend is one of the few people I know who seems to understand that a big part of this journey is mental. Changing my entire view of myself and, in some ways, my world isn't easy. But it is exciting.

So, as I think about pushing myself to exercise more, I know I need to push myself outside my comfort zone in other ways. Socializing has always been incredibly difficult for me. I think it's generally been accepted that I don't like being around people. Turns out, that's not true. I'm finding that it's fun. They just need to be the right people.

The right people these days are those who make me laugh and inspire me in some way. Oh, and they have to be supportive of my weight-loss goals. I find that I'm inspired by people who seem to be enjoying life. We all have our ups and downs, but some people just have a more positive outlook than others. Interestingly, I'm one of those people now.

It feels great!

The numbers don't lie

I know you've heard this before, but I'm feeling good and re-committed to my efforts (even though I haven't exactly gotten off track). Those who know me, know I love numbers. They tell the real story. So I started looking at my weight loss chart this morning. The rate of weight loss has definitely slowed -- from almost 2 pounds a week to an average of 1 pound a week over the past two months. I know that a gradual slowing is normal because the more weight I lose, the harder it gets to keep losing. If I'm being honest with myself, which I clearly have tried to be with this blog, I know it's because I haven't been very diligent about keeping track of what I'm eating and drinking.

It was a fun and interesting summer. Often filled with excess and emotional drama. In terms of my personal growth, it was well worth it. But it's time to be serious about what's important to me right now. For the past couple of weeks, I've been trying to buckle down and re-dedicate myself to my mission. It's not easy, though. This past week alone, for example, I had pizza twice ... numerous slices each time. In the beginning, I clearly understood the "all things in moderation" philosophy and I stuck to it. I kept track of every morsel of food and every sip of wine.

On one hand, I'm happy to realize that, for the most part, I am able to maintain my weight loss without a lot of tracking. That's a good sign when it comes to long-term maintenance. On the other hand, I know that if I really want to keep making progress, it's time to start writing it down again. No exceptions and no excuses. I am the only one responsible for what I eat and drink.

Weekly weigh-in: I should feel better

I was pretty delighted to see the number on the scale this morning. It was down 1.8 pounds from last week. Considering the past few weeks haven't been all that successful (and I did eat pizza twice this week), this is a great result. Total loss since January is now just shy of 68 pounds. Yes, that's very excited.

But I don't feel as excited as I think I should. I've been sick most of the week and I'm so far behind at work. That's making it hard for me to muster energy to be perky and happy this morning. I am glad and relieved for the weight loss. That's enough for now.

Feeling fantastic

This has been a crazy week. It started with a post on Sunday about how something didn't feel right. I was in a funk. I couldn't explain it. I still can't. But things have definitely been better since then. And it's weird because I've actually been suffering terribly from allergies for the past two days. Yet somehow I feel fantastic.

I feel like my head is in a good place. No irrational thinking in days. In fact, it's quite the opposite. I've been thinking very rationally, which has helped me make several decisions that had been weighing on my mind. In the grand scheme of things, they are all minor concerns, but I was stressing so much. I see now that I was being stupid.

I am at my best when I just put all of the negative thoughts out of my head and jump in with both feet. If I want something, I figure out a way to get it. Right now, what I want most is to maintain my positive outlook. I'm excited to get up and go to work every day. I'm excited to walk my neighborhood. I'm excited to listen to my favorite songs. I'm excited to cook great meals. I'm excited to have a simple conversation with someone about something that makes me laugh. So many things make me feel good, almost giddy sometimes. And it's often the small things that make me smile the most. But I find that I'm generally in a good mood and I don't let stuff bother me like I used to.

There was a time when I would have beaten myself up about something stupid I said or did. Really. I would have probably spent hours thinking about whatever it was. Now, I think about moving forward -- continuous improvement. Nearly every thought is about how to solve a problem or how to make something better. I'm thinking about things that make me happy. And as a result I'm doing a lot more things that make me happy.

Struggling and rambling

For about a week, I've been on an incredible high. I spent a lot of time last weekend assessing where things stand with my journey and my life in general. There were certain things I just had to let go or else I was going to drive myself crazy. The week was filled with ups and downs, but I felt good every day. I was in a genuinely good mood. And I ended each day focused on the positive parts of the day. And there was not a single day where I let my brain be too obsessive ... about anything.

So what's changed? All afternoon I've been in a funk. Something feels off. I don't know what it is. I feel blue. I don't like it. I've also been starving all day and I've already eaten my Weight Watchers points allotment for the day. I thought all day about getting in a walk because the weather was so nice, but I never did it. And that just makes me feel worse.

I started the day formulating a blog post in my head about what an optimist I've become lately. There are always bumps in the road, but I've been handling them really well. I was starting to think that maybe I could be a glass-is-half-full kind of person. I want to be. I am a hopeless romantic and tend to look on the bright side. But then there's the side of my brain that prepares for the worst, or at least prepares for every possible scenario I can think of.

I know this part of my brain drives people crazy. It even makes me crazy sometimes. Do other people analyze everything as much as I do? How can I stop?

I think one of the things that is bothering is that I've been spending a lot of time thinking about how much I've changed. I love the new me. But the new me doesn't just happen naturally. I struggle constantly to accept the changes. And it's apparently difficult for others to accept that I'm different. People expect me to act a certain way or to respond in a certain way. When I don't, they seem confused and almost disappointed. Seriously. Shouldn't they be happy that I'm learning to deal with obstacles in a positive way?

I've also been thinking about how I've come to know quite a few new people in the past six months or so. I think I'm seeking out those relationships because those people don't know the old me. You know, the one who could easily become one of those people who never leaves the house (and I mean never). Of course, they probably think the new me is a little nutty. Sometimes even I feel like I'm two different people.

I'm not usually one for waffling, so why am I doing so much of it lately. I also don't like drama, but I seem to be involved in a lot of it. If I'm going to move forward, I have to decide which Sherry I'm going to be and make a real commitment. I'm giving myself until the end of October to figure things out. (Yes, I need a deadline for figuring out my life. I operate much better under pressure.)

Weekly weigh-in: Blah

I guess I knew it wasn't going to be a great week, but I thought it would be better. I lost just under a pound, bringing my total since January to exactly 66 pounds. I've also realized that I had a slight miscalculation last week when I said I needed to lose 8.8 pounds by the end of October to reach 75 pounds lost. I actually needed to lose 9.8. Ugh!

So, as of today, I have exactly four weeks to lose 9 pounds to reach my goal. Based on the rate of weight loss recently, I'm not feeling optimistic. I really need something to get me moving in the right direction and fast.