I've been thinking for a couple of months that I wanted to start a Bucket List ... you know, stuff I want to do before I die. Thinking about dying seems kind of ominous, so I'm going to focus on things I want to do before I turn 40. I'm 37 and 7 months now, so that gives me almost 2 1/2 years. I'm going into this realizing that I may not accomplish everything on the list, but I hope I at least do some of the things. Part of the challenge will be to not do any of them by myself (well, unless they are clearly things you would normally do solo). As you know, I've spent a lot of time this year working on my personal relationships. Achieving these milestones with my friends will be fun and a good test of whether I really have changed.
So here's my list. I'll keep adding to it over time and, of course, let you know when I mark something off.
1. Visit Italy. I don't know where exactly I want to go, but I want to see vineyards and drink wine and look at beautiful architecture.
2. Skydiving. I think I've only told one person ever that I want to do this and that was just a week ago. I've thought about it for years and I think it would be the most fun.
3. Take a hot air balloon ride. Ever since watching the Wizard of Oz as a kid, I've wanted to do this. It just seems cool. Of course, there'd need to be champagne and a picnic.
4. Run a 5K. I'm pretty sure I'm going to walk one soon. But I want to run. I'm not even close to that yet, but I'll get there eventually.
5. See the Grand Canyon. No special reason. Just something I've always wanted to do. And I want to listen to Eddie From Ohio's "Under David's Feet" while looking at it. (Of course, this song could also have something to do with my desire to visit Italy.)
6. Own a red Mustang convertible. I've owned two red Mustangs previously, but I've always wanted a convertible. And it has to be cherry red. (BTW, I drive a burgundy Ford Escape right now.) This seems unlikely since I'll still be paying for my current car, but you never know.
7. Highlight my hair. Sounds silly, right? I've thought about it for years. Just too chicken to actually do it. But the gray is really starting to show. It's probably time.
8. Sing karaoke. Don't laugh. I actually love to sing. I just don't do it in front of other people because I think I'm terrible at it. Doesn't matter anymore. I want to be able to say I've done it.
9. Plant a garden. I'll probably have to start small, a few herbs or something. But I sure would love to grow something in my yard and then eat it.
10. Paint my walls. If I'm still living in my current house, the walls need to be painted. I've lived here 7 1/2 years and they are all still white. I'd give anything for some color. But I have no idea what I'm doing, so I need someone to help me.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
The music of my life
As you know by now, I don't just talk about losing weight on this blog. It's simply become a way for me to express myself, which often means I don't end up with the thoughts going around and around in my head. And regular readers know that I talk about music a lot. It's been a big part of my life since I can remember. In fact, there are probably hundreds of songs that trigger specific memories -- some good, some not. For example, one night a couple of years ago, I heard Billy Joel's "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant" in a bar and almost started crying. Seriously.
My earliest memory involving music had to be when I was about 4 years old. I don't remember the specifics, but I do remember listening to Chubby Checker's "The Twist" and Elvis Presley's "Hound Dog." I still love both of those songs.
Over the years, music became a bigger and bigger part of my life. I think it was mostly because my mom sold advertising for radio stations during my formative years. The two stations I remember most played country and classic rock, so naturally that's what we listened to most of the time. I loved Alabama, George Jones, the Oak Ridge Boys, Kenny Rogers, Dolly Parton, Loretta Lynn, etc.
As I grew into my pre-teen and teen years, I liked all of the popular artists and bands. I can still remember how excited I was the Christmas I got a stereo and albums by Madonna and Bruce Springsteen. Oh, and let's not forget about Prince. I'm pretty sure I was listening to "Let's Go Crazy" when I spilled purple nail polish on my bedspread.
Then high school came along and I really tried a bunch of different styles. Yes, I can admit it ... I loved Poison. One time I begged my mother to take me to see them in concert. I think I even agreed to clean the house for a year without complaining. (She didn't take me.) Beyond the hair bands, I did have a heavy metal phase. But it was short-lived.
It was about this time that I knew my musical tastes were pretty varied. The summer before 10th grade, I went with my mom and stepdad to see Robert Plant in concert. I played the CD over and over for weeks. Oddly enough, I barely knew who Led Zeppelin was at the time. The opening act was Cheap Trick, which also became a favorite. That same summer, I saw INXS in concert. I think I still know every word to "Never Tear Us Apart." The opening act was Ziggy Marley, which then led me to Bob Marley.
Then, in 10th grade, I discovered REM. Even though I don't listen to them that often anymore, I will probably forever consider them my all-time favorite band. My closest friends didn't listen to them, so I made new friends. Those relationships didn't last long, but my love for this music did.
By the time I got to college, I liked a little bit of everything. There was a time when I carried about a dozen CDs in my backpack so we could play them while putting out the student newspaper. I don't remember all of the CDs, but I know the stack included Dave Matthews, Tom Petty, Neil Young, The Cranberries, Live, Paul Simon, Billy Joel and Van Morrison. (Maybe one day I'll write about which song from each group had the greatest impact on my life. For example, "Ants Marching" was always one of my favorite Dave Matthews songs because a friend played it on his guitar for me on my 22nd birthday. Truth is, I never liked the song that much, but I'll never forget that birthday.)
For the record, I had a grunge rock phase during college. I still love Pearl Jam, but at the risk of being shunned, I'll admit that I never loved Nirvana. It was during this time, about midway through college, that I was introduced to Neil Young. That same friend turned me on to Nanci Griffith, whose songs I find to be inspirational, comforting and only occasionally depressing. But that did begin my love of folk music.
Toward the end of college, a whole new world opened up to me -- local music. A friend was a big fan of a local singer -- a guy with his guitar. He played at the bar where this friend was a bartender. Turns out, the guy was starting a band right about that time. After seeing dozens of solo and group performances, I will forever be a big fan of the Pat McGee Band. (They tried to make it big, but have since disbanded. I hear Pat's still out there playing on his own, though.) Pat, I can call him that because at the time I did actually know him, and my bartender friend were friends with another band, Eddie From Ohio. They're basically a folk band from Virginia, my home. Well, if you follow this blog, you know I still listen to EFO almost every time I walk/run. (If you like folk music with a twist, let me know and I'll burn you a CD of my favorite songs. I highly recommend them.)
So it's been almost 15 years since college. Until recently, I hadn't found a single musical influence that would have the same effect as the others. That brings me to today. Since June, I've been listening to Zac Brown Band almost nonstop. I mix it up every now and then, but not much. I have both of the band's CDs and there isn't a song I don't like. Sure I have my favorites, but they are all good. I guess that's what has me thinking about how music is such a big part of my life. Every song has meaning. If it doesn't, I don't listen.
Finally, I was thinking about my all-time favorite artists/bands and found it difficult to narrow the list. So I figured counting how many CDs I own by a particular artist would surely be a sign. Here are the top 5 followed by the number of CDs I own by each: REM (8), Nanci Griffith (8), Eddie From Ohio (7), Neil Young (7) and Van Morrison (5). The only one on the list that surprises me a little is Van Morrison. I would have thought the Grateful Dead or U2 or Dave Matthews or Billy Joel might have been on the list, but I only own three or four CDs from each of them. Are you surprised by anyone on my list of favorites?
My earliest memory involving music had to be when I was about 4 years old. I don't remember the specifics, but I do remember listening to Chubby Checker's "The Twist" and Elvis Presley's "Hound Dog." I still love both of those songs.
Over the years, music became a bigger and bigger part of my life. I think it was mostly because my mom sold advertising for radio stations during my formative years. The two stations I remember most played country and classic rock, so naturally that's what we listened to most of the time. I loved Alabama, George Jones, the Oak Ridge Boys, Kenny Rogers, Dolly Parton, Loretta Lynn, etc.
As I grew into my pre-teen and teen years, I liked all of the popular artists and bands. I can still remember how excited I was the Christmas I got a stereo and albums by Madonna and Bruce Springsteen. Oh, and let's not forget about Prince. I'm pretty sure I was listening to "Let's Go Crazy" when I spilled purple nail polish on my bedspread.
Then high school came along and I really tried a bunch of different styles. Yes, I can admit it ... I loved Poison. One time I begged my mother to take me to see them in concert. I think I even agreed to clean the house for a year without complaining. (She didn't take me.) Beyond the hair bands, I did have a heavy metal phase. But it was short-lived.
It was about this time that I knew my musical tastes were pretty varied. The summer before 10th grade, I went with my mom and stepdad to see Robert Plant in concert. I played the CD over and over for weeks. Oddly enough, I barely knew who Led Zeppelin was at the time. The opening act was Cheap Trick, which also became a favorite. That same summer, I saw INXS in concert. I think I still know every word to "Never Tear Us Apart." The opening act was Ziggy Marley, which then led me to Bob Marley.
Then, in 10th grade, I discovered REM. Even though I don't listen to them that often anymore, I will probably forever consider them my all-time favorite band. My closest friends didn't listen to them, so I made new friends. Those relationships didn't last long, but my love for this music did.
By the time I got to college, I liked a little bit of everything. There was a time when I carried about a dozen CDs in my backpack so we could play them while putting out the student newspaper. I don't remember all of the CDs, but I know the stack included Dave Matthews, Tom Petty, Neil Young, The Cranberries, Live, Paul Simon, Billy Joel and Van Morrison. (Maybe one day I'll write about which song from each group had the greatest impact on my life. For example, "Ants Marching" was always one of my favorite Dave Matthews songs because a friend played it on his guitar for me on my 22nd birthday. Truth is, I never liked the song that much, but I'll never forget that birthday.)
For the record, I had a grunge rock phase during college. I still love Pearl Jam, but at the risk of being shunned, I'll admit that I never loved Nirvana. It was during this time, about midway through college, that I was introduced to Neil Young. That same friend turned me on to Nanci Griffith, whose songs I find to be inspirational, comforting and only occasionally depressing. But that did begin my love of folk music.
Toward the end of college, a whole new world opened up to me -- local music. A friend was a big fan of a local singer -- a guy with his guitar. He played at the bar where this friend was a bartender. Turns out, the guy was starting a band right about that time. After seeing dozens of solo and group performances, I will forever be a big fan of the Pat McGee Band. (They tried to make it big, but have since disbanded. I hear Pat's still out there playing on his own, though.) Pat, I can call him that because at the time I did actually know him, and my bartender friend were friends with another band, Eddie From Ohio. They're basically a folk band from Virginia, my home. Well, if you follow this blog, you know I still listen to EFO almost every time I walk/run. (If you like folk music with a twist, let me know and I'll burn you a CD of my favorite songs. I highly recommend them.)
So it's been almost 15 years since college. Until recently, I hadn't found a single musical influence that would have the same effect as the others. That brings me to today. Since June, I've been listening to Zac Brown Band almost nonstop. I mix it up every now and then, but not much. I have both of the band's CDs and there isn't a song I don't like. Sure I have my favorites, but they are all good. I guess that's what has me thinking about how music is such a big part of my life. Every song has meaning. If it doesn't, I don't listen.
Finally, I was thinking about my all-time favorite artists/bands and found it difficult to narrow the list. So I figured counting how many CDs I own by a particular artist would surely be a sign. Here are the top 5 followed by the number of CDs I own by each: REM (8), Nanci Griffith (8), Eddie From Ohio (7), Neil Young (7) and Van Morrison (5). The only one on the list that surprises me a little is Van Morrison. I would have thought the Grateful Dead or U2 or Dave Matthews or Billy Joel might have been on the list, but I only own three or four CDs from each of them. Are you surprised by anyone on my list of favorites?
Friday, November 26, 2010
Weekly weigh-in: It could have been so much worse
So I've been droning on all week about how my eating and drinking habits haven't been so good lately. With Thanksgiving this week as well, I was prepared when I stepped on the scale this morning. Yes, I gained. But only 1.2 pounds. Honestly, under the circumstances, I can live with that. I hate that I let things get out of control recently, but I think I'm back on track. Of course I splurged yesterday, but I didn't actually go crazy. That made me feel good. It made me think I can get back on track. So I'm starting fresh today. My total weight loss since January stands at 75.2 pounds. I'm making a new, small goal -- reach 80 pounds lost by Dec. 31. That's five weeks, which means less than a pound a week. I know I can do it!!!
Thursday, November 25, 2010
A day of firsts
I started the day reflecting on what I'm thankful for this year. Something I didn't exactly put on the list, but is true, is that I'm thankful I do things out of the ordinary now. I know I say this all the time, but I am a different person compared to a year ago. And today was filled with lots of little things that prove just how different I am.
- I had Thanksgiving dinner (which was actually an oyster roast and there was no turkey) at the home of people I had never met before today. It was a friend's 40th birthday and on a whim she invited me. I felt really uncomfortable at first, but once I was committed, I decided to just go with it. The hosts turned out to be the nicest people and this turned out to be a seriously fun Thanksgiving.
- I ate oysters. Before today, the last time I ate an oyster was in college and it involved tequila shots and a dare. My mom used to make me eat oysters growing up and I hated them. I went to today's shindig thinking I wouldn't eat them. But shortly before I got there, something in my head told me that I had to try one. This whole year has been about trying new things. I ended up eating about a half dozen. It was fun shucking them and the rosemary butter was to die for ... but I also tried the garlic butter and the hot sauce.
- I tasted 10 pies at one time. Part of the plan for the dinner was to have a pie bake-off, so lots of people made pies. I tasted every one ... and liked them all. Normally, I would not have eaten most of them ... but I was in the mood to branch out.
- I made a pie. I never did that before. It was chocolate and almond. I think people liked it. I sure did
- I tried homemade dandelion wine. It was pretty potent and it didn't smell so good. But it didn't taste too bad. Still, it probably wouldn't be my first choice. The important part is that I tried it.
What I'm thankful for
I can honestly say that I don't ever remember making a list of things I'm thankful for. I don't know why exactly, but it probably has something to do with not appreciating the good things in my life. Until this year, I've allowed the negative to take center stage. For regular readers, though, you know that I'm different now. I've spent this year working on myself ... in a lot of ways. Of course, there are many things I'm thankful for this year, but here are my top five.
1. I'm thankful for my weight loss. I've lost about 75 pounds since January, and I'm probably the healthiest I've been in my whole life. I am thankful for having the strength to finally take control of my eating habits and pursue this journey. But I'm more thankful for the people who have supported me along the way. Without constant encouragement, I don't think I would have made it.
2. I'm thankful for my friends -- new and old. My weight loss journey has spawned another journey -- one that has me working to develop personal relationships with people. It's not easy for me, but it is quite rewarding. So I say thank you to my old friends who've accepted the changes I'm making in my life and thank you to all those new people who've accepted me into their lives. You all constantly prop me up and make me a better person.
3. I'm thankful for my family. Although I don't see them often, I know they are always there. It's been a year of ups and downs for many of my family members, but, like so many others, they've been there to support me in my efforts this past year.
4. I'm thankful I have a job I love. I love what I do and it makes me happy. I am fulfilled by what I do. And I'm thankful I work with such a great group of people.
5. I'm thankful I'm a happier person. This past year has taught me that I'm capable of a lot more than I ever gave myself credit for. It's also taught me that I have two choices about how I approach life. I'd like to think that I choose to be happy. Even when I'm facing setbacks or obstacles, most of the time I can step back and think about what's good in my life. It's hard to explain, but the inside of my brain actually feels different compared to a year ago.
So I'm ultimately thankful to be enjoying my life. I feel like I'm on the right path and exactly where I'm supposed to be.
1. I'm thankful for my weight loss. I've lost about 75 pounds since January, and I'm probably the healthiest I've been in my whole life. I am thankful for having the strength to finally take control of my eating habits and pursue this journey. But I'm more thankful for the people who have supported me along the way. Without constant encouragement, I don't think I would have made it.
2. I'm thankful for my friends -- new and old. My weight loss journey has spawned another journey -- one that has me working to develop personal relationships with people. It's not easy for me, but it is quite rewarding. So I say thank you to my old friends who've accepted the changes I'm making in my life and thank you to all those new people who've accepted me into their lives. You all constantly prop me up and make me a better person.
3. I'm thankful for my family. Although I don't see them often, I know they are always there. It's been a year of ups and downs for many of my family members, but, like so many others, they've been there to support me in my efforts this past year.
4. I'm thankful I have a job I love. I love what I do and it makes me happy. I am fulfilled by what I do. And I'm thankful I work with such a great group of people.
5. I'm thankful I'm a happier person. This past year has taught me that I'm capable of a lot more than I ever gave myself credit for. It's also taught me that I have two choices about how I approach life. I'd like to think that I choose to be happy. Even when I'm facing setbacks or obstacles, most of the time I can step back and think about what's good in my life. It's hard to explain, but the inside of my brain actually feels different compared to a year ago.
So I'm ultimately thankful to be enjoying my life. I feel like I'm on the right path and exactly where I'm supposed to be.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
I'm being tested!
After today, it is abundantly clear that I have done something to mess up my karma. I'm starting to wonder how much stress I can take before I actually crack and eat everything in sight. There are so many things adding up and the result is that I'm not handling them well.
My eating habits have gradually over the past couple of weeks gotten worse. Now, I'm paying for it. I've gained 5 pounds since Friday. Scientifically speaking, I probably haven't really gained 5 pounds. There are any number of reasons for seeing a higher number on the scale. But this is a good time for me to reassess where I am and the fact that I seem pretty close to being out of control again.
Eating is an emotional response. I can feel the stress seeping into the part of my brain that has kept me on track with my weight loss all these months. And I don't know how to stop it. I think every day that I'm going to do better, but then something happens and I eat poorly. The problem is that I'm just not making the right choices. Early in this journey, even when I was overwhelmed or things felt out of control, I chose wisely.
I guess my hope is that this is a phase -- that I'll snap out of it soon. But what if I don't. I keep thinking that something's going to happen to help me get back to where I was. I want to make the smart choices. I want the irrational voice in my head to go away.
My eating habits have gradually over the past couple of weeks gotten worse. Now, I'm paying for it. I've gained 5 pounds since Friday. Scientifically speaking, I probably haven't really gained 5 pounds. There are any number of reasons for seeing a higher number on the scale. But this is a good time for me to reassess where I am and the fact that I seem pretty close to being out of control again.
Eating is an emotional response. I can feel the stress seeping into the part of my brain that has kept me on track with my weight loss all these months. And I don't know how to stop it. I think every day that I'm going to do better, but then something happens and I eat poorly. The problem is that I'm just not making the right choices. Early in this journey, even when I was overwhelmed or things felt out of control, I chose wisely.
I guess my hope is that this is a phase -- that I'll snap out of it soon. But what if I don't. I keep thinking that something's going to happen to help me get back to where I was. I want to make the smart choices. I want the irrational voice in my head to go away.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
A happy day
I started my day thinking I might spend it in my pajamas in bed. After two cups of coffee and about an hour of thinking, I knew I had to take control. I added two Bonnie Raitt CDs to my iPod and headed for The Loop. Thanks to the gorgeous weather and good music, I walked two laps. For those who don't remember, that's almost 5 miles. I felt great and loved being outside. And having the time to think and get my head together was just what I needed. Little did I know that I'd end up back at the beach a couple of hours later. My point: I started the day having trouble getting out of bed, but once I did, I couldn't sit still. And the day ended up much better than I thought.
One thing I realized today is that I had stopped making my list of things that made me happy each day. I knew I wouldn't blog about it forever but I was still making a note in my head each night. I don't know why I stopped, but I do think that's when things really started getting off track. So here's my list of five things that made me happy today.
1. I walked almost 8 miles today. I did The Loop twice this morning and then later in the day I walked from Johnnie Mercers Pier to Shell Island and back. I still want to incorporate running into my physical activity, but, for now, I'm just happy to be moving ... and to feel so compelled to do it. I missed four days last week and I almost felt like I just had to go today. Of course, who knew I'd try to make up for the four days all at once?
2. I tried a new recipe for dinner -- whole-wheat pasta with prosciutto, mushrooms and spinach. It was delicious, easy to make and good for me.Yummy food always makes me happy.
3. I watched Casablanca. It always puts me in a good mood and I just love the song "As Time Goes By." It will probably be stuck in my head for days. Plus, what woman doesn't want Humphrey Bogart pining after her?
4. There were several points in the day when I could have let negative thoughts/conversations or other obstacles take over. But I didn't. This is a real mental success. One of my goals is to change the way I react to adversity. Part of that is adjusting the way I think and not letting things get to me. Today I overcame each challenging moment and found things that made me happy.
5. Sunday nights always make me happy because that's when I change my sheets. I always sleep better on clean sheets. OK, that makes me sound crazy. But clean sheets make me happy. And I truly am trying to appreciate the little things more.
One thing I realized today is that I had stopped making my list of things that made me happy each day. I knew I wouldn't blog about it forever but I was still making a note in my head each night. I don't know why I stopped, but I do think that's when things really started getting off track. So here's my list of five things that made me happy today.
1. I walked almost 8 miles today. I did The Loop twice this morning and then later in the day I walked from Johnnie Mercers Pier to Shell Island and back. I still want to incorporate running into my physical activity, but, for now, I'm just happy to be moving ... and to feel so compelled to do it. I missed four days last week and I almost felt like I just had to go today. Of course, who knew I'd try to make up for the four days all at once?
2. I tried a new recipe for dinner -- whole-wheat pasta with prosciutto, mushrooms and spinach. It was delicious, easy to make and good for me.Yummy food always makes me happy.
3. I watched Casablanca. It always puts me in a good mood and I just love the song "As Time Goes By." It will probably be stuck in my head for days. Plus, what woman doesn't want Humphrey Bogart pining after her?
4. There were several points in the day when I could have let negative thoughts/conversations or other obstacles take over. But I didn't. This is a real mental success. One of my goals is to change the way I react to adversity. Part of that is adjusting the way I think and not letting things get to me. Today I overcame each challenging moment and found things that made me happy.
5. Sunday nights always make me happy because that's when I change my sheets. I always sleep better on clean sheets. OK, that makes me sound crazy. But clean sheets make me happy. And I truly am trying to appreciate the little things more.
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