Weekly weigh-in: Right where I want to be

Last week's weight: 173.2
This week's weight: 171.6
Difference: -1.6
Total weight lost since January 2010: 100.2

I was disappointed with last week's weigh-in and now I'm pleasantly surprised this week. That just goes to show, once again, that I am on a journey for life and I shouldn't get too upset from week to week.

After gaining nearly 5 pounds during my vacation to Asheville, I set a goal of getting back to the 100 pounds lost mark before heading out for another vacation on July 4. And I did it! There's something about being at that point that makes me feel better about letting go while on vacation.

Of course, I'm still going to try to make smart choices, but I'm also not going to worry about eating s'mores over a camp fire or having a few beers. I'll probably gain 5 pounds again. So what? This is how I imagine the rest of my life being ... gain a few pounds, lose a few pounds.

To reach my ultimate goal, I want to lose 20 more pounds. But I'm realistic about how long that might take because my goal is to do it while enjoying my life. A year? Two years? Does it really matter how long it takes? I'm a size 12, which is the smallest I've been since the seventh grade. I eat healthier and I exercise more than I ever have in my life. And I feel good.

So I think I'm right where I want to be ... for now.

Weekly weigh-in: Disappointed

Last week's weight: 173.4
This week's weight: 173.2
Difference: -0.2
Total weight lost since January 2010: 98.6

I tried really hard this week, so I expected to see a better result on the scale when I weighed-in yesterday. I was diligent about tracking my Weight Watchers points and I exercised six out of seven days. In fact, I barely went over my daily points allotment and I earned far more activity points than I used. Why didn't the scale reward my efforts?

Feeling frustrated, I went a little overboard yesterday -- using 18 of my weekly points in one day. I didn't even eat anything worth it (well, except two mini cupcakes). Instead, I wasted those valuable points on snacking simply because I was disappointed with the number on the scale.

As usual, I feel bad about it today. So I've spent the morning searching recipes and making a plan for the weekend that should keep me from repeating yesterday's mistakes. But it won't be easy. All I can seem to think about our foods that aren't good for me.

Weekly weigh-in: The right direction

Last week's weight: 175.8
This week's weight: 173.4
Difference: -2.4
Total weight lost since January 2010: 98.4

After two weeks of gaining, I was thrilled with this morning's weigh-in. I'm not back to where I was, but at least I'm headed in the right direction.

One of my biggest fears is that I won't be able to maintain my weight loss ... for the rest of my life. I'm trying to be reasonable about gaining a few pounds here and there, especially when I'm on vacation or celebrating special occasions. But I'm really happy to see that I can lose those pounds.

This week has been particularly difficult. For some reason, I've wanted to snack a lot. I've tried to stick to healthy snacks, though, so I think that helped with the weight loss. I also exercised a lot this week, and that always makes a difference.

My goal right now is to lose at least two more pounds before the Fourth of July, which is when I'll be on vacation again. I won't feel as guilty about splurging if I go into it having lost 100 pounds. I'm also getting my head wrapped around the fact that I'm a size 12 and as long as that doesn't change, I shouldn't worry too much about a few pounds.

Weekly weigh-in: Back to basics

Last week's weight: 171
This week's weight: 175.8
Difference: +4.8
Total weight lost since January 2010: 96

As I expected, letting myself eat and drink pretty much whatever I wanted while on vacation in Asheville showed up on the scale. I gave myself 5 pounds grace and apparently I needed it. And don't forget I gained a pound the week before. That means I'm up almost 6 pounds in two weeks. Yikes.

I am slightly panicked, but I'm encouraged that between Walmart and Harris Teeter I spent $100 today and bought nothing but foods that are good for me. I have three different recipes I'm trying tomorrow -- mini egg white frittatas, lowfat moussaka and stir-fry chicken and veggies. That should keep me busy tomorrow and it should ensure that I stay on track this week.

Planning ahead is going to be extremely important this week because I'm working nights. I'm a little worried that the vending machine (or even fast food) will get the better of me. I'm going to try to resist. The good part about working nights is that I am much more likely to exercise before work.

So I'm going to try not to let a couple of bad weeks (especially since vacation was so worth it) bother me. I just need to do the right thing for the next few weeks and I'll be back where I was in no time ... by July 4, I hope, since I'll be taking another vacation then.

Weekly weigh-in: Lifelong changes

Last week's weight: 170
This week's weight: 171
Difference: +1
Total weight lost since January 2010: 100.8

I'm about to go on vacation for a few days, so I weighed in a day early this week. I didn't have a great eating week, so gaining a pound wasn't really a surprise. And I'll probably gain a few more while on vacation. I'm prepared for that.

I've been thinking a lot this week about how long it's been since I started this journey -- almost 2 1/2 years. I've had my share of ups and downs and last year saw very little change in my weight. I get frustrated sometimes when my progress is slow or I hit a plateau. But I've realized that the changes I've made since I began in January 2010 are lifelong changes.

This week proved that to me. I gave in to emotional eating a few times. What that looks like now, though, surprised me. A few years ago, I would have eaten much worse foods -- probably pounds of pasta instead of two cups or an entire package of cookies instead of a few handfuls of chocolate chips or a whole bag of potato chips instead of seven rice cakes.

That tells me that even when I make bad choices, they aren't ones that will cause me to gain back 100 pounds. I'm pretty realistic about how much I like to eat. I'm not giving up anything. I'm just learning to control how much I eat of the foods that cause me to gain weight.

I'm also realistic about knowing when to splurge. While on vacation, I don't plan to eat whatever I want, but I also don't plan to count every calorie. My plan is to really think about what I'm eating and whether it's something I really want. If so, I'm going to eat it. If I can a few pounds, so be it. I'll lose them when I get back from vacation.

It's this attitude that I think will help me maintain my weight loss for the rest of my life. At any given time, I give myself a 5-pound leeway. As long as I don't gain more than that, I'm doing OK.

It's not rocket science

I've been feeling a little out of sorts for a few days. I thought that taking the long weekend to relax and really focus on my eating habits would help. Yet I'm sitting here inhaling chocolate chips as I type this post. I didn't lose control of my eating until yesterday. About 4 pm I ate a giant bowl of pasta. Then I had ice cream. Then I scarfed down five white cheddar rice cakes. And I still ate leftover chicken tacos for dinner. I'm disappointed in myself because I ruined a really good exercise day with food I had no business eating. Today wasn't much better. I didn't eat anything too crazy ... well, until the chocolate chips. They're all gone now so I guess they won't be tempting me any longer. My point is that it doesn't take a genius to figure out why I've fallen off the wagon (even if it is just slightly). A year ago at this time, my dad was rushed to the hospital and died later that night. He actually died on May 31 but it was the Tuesday after Memorial Day. I'd had a fun weekend and was packing for a trip to Asheville. Since I had to cancel my trip last year, I'm that much more excited about going this year. I'm scheduled to leave on Thursday. But I can't help but think about my dad and my family this week. I'm not upset, but I am agitated. As I've noted before, I'm an emotional eater. I'm trying not to stress about it, but the scale has gone up three pounds since Friday. I'm trying to give myself leeway. So what if I gain a few pounds? As of Friday, I'd lost almost 102 pounds. I've gone from a size 22/24 to a size 12. I put on a nightgown tonight from before and it's like wearing a tent. I bought a dress today in a size large when I used to wear 3X. I never would have even bought a dress before because I didn't want people to see my legs. So I'm trying to convince myself that a few pounds doesn't make me the size I used to be. A few pounds doesn't actually change anything. Losing control and eating a bunch of chocolate chips or pasta isn't a problem unless I make it a habit. I've made a lot of progress and most of the time I make the right choices even in stressful situations. It's ok to make a bad choice every now and then. That's life.

Weekly weigh-in: Battling the blues

Last week's weight: 171
This week's weight: 170
Difference: -1
Total weight lost since January 2010: 101.8

I was genuinely surprised when I weighed Friday morning. After hitting the 100 pounds lost mark last week, I gave myself a little leeway this week. I didn't go overboard, but I definitely ate/drank more than I should have. Based on what I was seeing on the scale during the week, I thought the best result I could hope for was to stay even. And that would have been fine. I think what helped me was a lot of exercise early in the week and drinking a ton of water. Plus, even as I was splurging, I didn't make the worst choices. For example, I had light beer when I wanted a margarita. I also had a salad for dinner one night when I wanted a cheeseburger, but that's because I was having wine with that dinner.

So the weigh-in went well. And I seem to be heading in the right direction with my weight loss (despite the occasional setback). What's baffling me is why I don't feel better about myself. Of course, there are outside factors affecting my mood. I just turned 39 earlier this month, and getting older just isn't much fun once you get past 21. Also, the one-year anniversary of my dad's death is coming up in a few days, so naturally that's on my mind. As usual, there are changes at work causing me stress. And a few unexpected expenses lately have me dipping into my savings, which never puts me in a very good frame of mind.

I'm hoping the long weekend will help me get refocused. My answer to feeling stressed is usually to get organized. So that's what I'm going to do for the next three days. I think a bit of spring cleaning around the house will help me feel more in control of my life. And it will keep me busy so I don't do things that cost a lot of money. Then, at the end of the week, I'll be visiting friends in Asheville. I'm certain that will be just the pick-me-up I need and I'll be on the path to a happy-go-lucky summer.