Persisting toward success

I came home from work today, put on my pajamas and fell right into bed. Bundled up under the covers, I started watching a silly kids movie (Aladdin). All I could think about was how I wish I could fly away on a magic carpet for a little while. Then, I started trying to remember the last time I felt truly relaxed. For me, it's a state of calm where I feel physically and mentally at ease. I honestly don't remember the last time I felt that way.

The past two months have been much better and at least I've been losing weight again. But something's still not quite right. I can't explain it, so I won't really even try. I just know that some days are harder than others.

It didn't help that I weighed when I got home from work and the scale clearly hates me this week. I've religiously recorded my Weight Watchers points ... even all the bad stuff I ate/drank Friday ... and I've done fairly well the rest of the week. But the scale is up three pounds. I know there's no reason to panic. I'm eating right and exercising almost daily. It's hard to accept that number on a day where I ate a doughnut. My brain immediately decides that eating one doughnut caused me to gain three pounds. Then, I think: Why am I even bothering? I can't go through life and never eat another doughnut.

Yes, I realize that's irrational. I know ups and downs are natural. I've been here before. I'm sure the number on the scale today is a result of several recent indulgences and a lot of stress over the past two days. Knowing this, however, doesn't make me feel any better. And it didn't stop me from curling up under the covers and sulking for about 45 minutes. The sulking also came with lots of thoughts about simply ordering whatever I wanted for dinner tonight. If the scale isn't going to cooperate when I try to do the right thing, then maybe I shouldn't try.

Luckily, I'm generally a pretty sensible person. I pulled myself out of bed and headed for my exercise bike. After 3 miles in 30 minutes, I had more aches and pains than normal ... but I felt a little better. That led me to the kitchen where I'm roasting squash/zucchini as I type this. It will go with leftover pork tenderloin and roasted beets.

Unless I go off the deep end after dinner, I should avoid going over my WW points for the day. Forget the scale. I know I have to just keep trying. Persistence will pay off.