It's not raining men!

At least not at my house. The only rain I've seen lately is the wet stuff falling from the sky. And I'm really tired of it. I got rained on at the Heart Walk yesterday. Then I got rained on walking at the beach this morning. Does it really have to rain every day?

Breaking up with someone I really cared about is depressing enough. Suffering through it with barely a ray of sunshine during the past couple of weeks is just making things worse. It's making me feel downright gloomy.

As a result, I'm having trouble seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. About three weeks ago (and only a week after the breakup), I decided to seriously give online dating another try. I'm still waffling about whether I'm even ready to date someone new because, if I'm honest, I find that any person who shows a bit of interest gets compared to my ex and I end up thinking about how I wish we'd never broken up.

But it's been a month. I think it's time for me to accept that he's not going to suddenly realize he made a mistake. Yes, in the beginning, I admit that I hoped that would happen. I thought we were a good match and I thought that maybe he just needed a little time apart to see that. Obviously, I was wrong.

So I'm back to trying to find someone new through online dating. It's really not going well so far because I haven't even found a single I want to meet in person. My "profile" has been viewed nearly 300 times in the past three weeks. And I've gotten likes, winks and emails from about a dozen people. Is that good?

I've actually been interested in only two of those people. I've been emailing with one person for about three weeks. I'd consider our conversations to be barely on the verge of small talk. Each email has been a few sentences and we basically just talk about whether we had a good week or what we did over the weekend. So boring. Then there was this other guy. He seemed promising. We exchanged a few emails and then we started texting. This went on for about a week and then he up and disappeared. His profile is hidden on match.com now and I haven't received a text in a week. Guess he found someone else. He could have at least told me that.

Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I feel like I should address the fact that my ex is also using match.com. That is how we met in the first place, so I'm not surprised. What's surprising is that every few days, he shows up in the list of people who've viewed my profile. This confuses me. So I click on his profile ... as if that's somehow going to explain why he's looking at my profile. I know I should just delete him from the list or block him or whatever, but I can't because I still care about him.

And that, ultimately, is why I can't move on. A friend recently shared an article about how to move forward after someone breaks your heart. I'm not sure I agree with everything it says, but I thought it was interesting. So here it is: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-11276/3-steps-to-move-forward-after-someone-breaks-your-heart.html. Maybe I need to read it again. :-)