What's done is done

I haven't blogged for two weeks because my thoughts haven't been in a good place and I decided that I was tired of using my blog to whine about how bad I felt. One byproduct of my weight-loss journey has been self-awareness. Sometimes, I annoy myself when I let self-doubt and low self-esteem rule my thoughts so I figure others must get tired of it.

The problem is that I don't know how to change the image in my head. A couple of weeks ago, I saw a photo of myself taken a year or two before I started trying to lose weight. I wasn't even at my heaviest. What was strange is that the person I saw in that photo is often the person I still see when I look in the mirror.

I'm extremely unhappy about my weight gain in the past year (between 12 and 15 pounds), but I'm even more disappointed in the mental setbacks. Something has to change. And all I know to do is try -- again -- to start over and make smarter choices.

When I eat better and exercise, I feel better and I'm happier. It's that simple. I can't turn back the clock, so I just have to look forward starting today. I know the secrets to my success in the past -- mostly diligence and determination -- can help me resume my weight loss.

I also know that a positive attitude will help. I have to find a way to banish the negative thoughts about myself and to improve my self-image. This is the part I haven't exactly figured out, but I'm going to try. As I approach the four-year anniversary of when I started this journey, I've realized that I've been happier during this time than I have in my life. So despite the low times, it's all worth it.