Friday, August 31, 2012

Weekly weigh-in: Proud of myself

Last week's weight: 172.2
This week's weight: 171
Difference: -1.2
Total weight lost since January 2010: 100.8

If you recall, I was pretty upset with myself after last week's weigh-in. Luckily, I put my chin up and didn't let it hold me back. I made much smarter choices this week and the scale rewarded me.

My eating habits weren't perfect and I didn't exercise enough. For example, Tuesday night ended with me leaving the grocery store with a rotisserie chicken, a Lean Cuisine single-serve pizza and a bag of No Yolks egg noodles. I ended up eating some of the chicken and some of the pasta (normal portions of both). Considering I stopped at the store thinking about the giant five cheese take and bake pizza, I think I did well.

And I didn't let a minor slip here and there lead to half a bag of Cheez Doodles again. And trust me, this could have been another one of those weeks. It's been filled with disappointment, frustration and discouragement.

Each time I felt tempted to dive into a vat of mac and cheese, I told myself that I deserved better and that I wanted better. What I realized (once again) is that I have a choice. I can eat whatever I want. There's nothing stopping me ... except my desire to be healthy and happy. I'm really glad that desire wins out most of the time.

Buoyed by this morning's weigh-in and the boost it gave me to keep pushing forward, I'm particularly proud of how I handled a bit of bad news this afternoon. I wanted to scream, argue, cry ... you get the picture. But I didn't. I stayed calm. Then I went for a three-mile walk, which turned out to be quite uplifting and rejuvenating. Then I ate a healthy dinner and I'll probably head to bed early. If only I could handle stress this well all the time.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Recipe: Mexican casserole

Before I began my weight-loss journey in January 2010, I ate Mexican all the time ... whether it was out at restaurants or something I made at home. Of course, I wasn't making very smart choices then and everything I ate was loaded with fat and calories. I've tried once or twice to find a substitute and I've even come up with a healthy taco salad recipe and chicken fajitas. But I needed something with more bulk. Something that fit the comfort food definition. Today's casserole, although loaded with unconventional ingredients, turned out delicious. Don't let the unexpected veggies turn you off. Serve it with a skinny girl margarita and you'll have yourself a fiesta.


Ingredients
4 6" corn tortillas
1/2 lb. ground beef (93% lean)
8 oz. fresh mushrooms, diced (If you don't like mushrooms, leave them out or add a diced onion instead.)
1 cup frozen sliced carrots
1 cup fresh spinach
1 tsp. cajun seasoning (You can use taco seasoning out of the package if you prefer.)
1 can (15 oz.) black beans, drained and rinsed
1/4 cup taco sauce (From a jar or can. You can use enchilada sauce or even salsa.)
4 oz. Cabot reduced-fat cheddar cheese, shredded (I specifically chose the kind with 75% less fat because I don't like regular reduced-fat cheddar. It comes in a block.)
3 fresh tomatoes, diced
Shredded iceberg lettuce (About 4 cups. I buy the pre-shredded pack.)
Salt and pepper
Cooking spray


In a large nonstick skillet, saute the ground beef, mushrooms and carrots until beef is browned and mushrooms are tender. Add spinach and cajun seasoning. Continue sauteing until spinach is wilted. Coat an 8x8 baking dish with cooking spray. Use two tortillas to cover the bottom of the pan. Add half the ground beef mixture. Add half the beans. Spoon half the taco sauce on top. Cover with 1/4 of shredded cheese. Repeat with tortillas, beef mixture, beans and taco sauce. Cover with rest of cheese. Cover with foil. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes. Remove foil and continue baking for 10 minutes. Place one cup of lettuce and 1/4 of diced tomatoes on a plate. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Cut casserole into four squares. Place one square on top of lettuce and tomatoes. You can also add salsa. Makes four servings.


Recipe: S'mores bites


Those who know me, know I love s'mores. You also know I never even tried one until Jan. 1, 2011. Naturally, though, they aren't that good for me. They'd be fine if I ate just one. Haha. So today I made the next best thing. I've seen photos all over Pinterest of marshmallows dipped in chocolate and then graham cracker crumbs and a friend once brought chocolate fondue, marshmallows and graham cracker crumbs to a party. So I didn't exactly come up with this idea on my own. But I did have to make my own recipe. And these are low-calorie ... if I don't cave and eat the entire tray at one time.


Ingredients
1 bag marshmallows (40 total)
1/4 cup semisweet chocolate chips (You can use dark chocolate, white chocolate, butterscotch or peanut butter if you prefer.)
2 tbsp. fat-free half and half
3 tbsp. graham cracker crumbs (I already had the kind that come pre-ground in a box, but you could grind up regular graham crackers.)

Heat chocolate chips in microwave for 30 seconds. Add half and half and stir. Continue to heat for 15 seconds and then stir. Repeat until mixture is smooth and creamy. Pour graham cracker crumbs in a separate bowl. Dip one marshmallow at a time in chocolate and then crumbs. Place on a cookie sheet (I lined mine with non-stick aluminum foil just to be safe.) You can serve immediately or refrigerate. Makes 10 servings (4 marshmallows per serving).

Friday, August 24, 2012

Weekly weigh-in: Ashamed of myself

Last week's weight: 169.8
This week's weight: 172.2
Difference: +2.4
Total weight lost since January 2010: 99.6

I'm ashamed. There's really no other way to describe how I feel about the choices I made this week. I struggled so hard last week and the scale rewarded me. And I started this week off doing fairly well. I cooked healthy dinners and desserts last weekend and I had high hopes.

By Tuesday (remember, my weight-loss week starts on Fridays), though, I was slowly giving in to temptations. For dinner that night, I had Chinese food and bought a bag of pretzels. OK. That wasn't so bad and I could have recovered or at least posted only a slight gain this week.

But then Wednesday came. I ate a lot of the pretzels and chocolate chip cookies. Then a stressful phone call about a family situation Wednesday night was the last straw. I bought Cheez Doodles on the way home from work and ate half the bag.

Instead of putting it behind me, I ate the rest of the Cheez Doodles for breakfast Thursday. Then I had more Chinese food. And lots of Oreo cookies. I simply couldn't stop eating bad foods. I went to bed Thursday night mad at myself, but mostly just disappointed.

I'm frustrated that nearly three years into this journey I'm still not able to control these binge eating episodes. It's one thing to go out to dinner with friends and splurge on something I wouldn't normally eat. Or to occasionally enjoy a decadent dessert or a few slices of pizza. But to mindlessly inhale pretzels or Cheez Doodles or cookies is not acceptable.

So why'd I do it? I don't know. There are any number of reasons -- stress, being too restrictive the week before, hormones, food addiction, etc. I want to understand it, but I also don't believe in making excuses. I know what foods I should eat and what foods I shouldn't eat. I could have stuck with the low-fat pretzels and probably been OK. Or I could have bought fruit or veggies instead. More importantly, I didn't eat any of these foods because I was hungry.

And the result is that I gained back nearly everything I worked so hard to lose last week. As you know, part of this journey is about learning to move past these types of setbacks. So today is the start of a new week. My Weight Watchers points calculator has been reset. I'm going to do my best to track everything I eat this week, to exercise regularly and to make smarter choices. I can already tell that it won't be easy, but I know I can do it. I just can't give up.




Sunday, August 19, 2012

Recipe: Pumpkin whoopie pies

OMG! There's really nothing else to say about these cookies. If you like pumpkin, you're gonna want to try these immediately. Warning: You might want to eat the whole batch.



Ingredients
1 box angel food cake mix
1 can (15 oz.) pure pumpkin
8 oz. fat-free cream cheese
2 tbsp. powdered sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
Water
Pumpkin pie spice
Cinnamon
Cooking spray

Combine cake mix, pumpkin and a tablespoon of water in a large bowl. Mix with an electric mixer until light and fluffy. About a minute. Coat two cookie sheets with cooking spray. (I lined mine with aluminum foil first as well.) Drop cake mix into 12 round spoonfuls on each pan. About a tablespoon per cookie. You're trying to make 48 cookies total so use about half the mixture on the first two pans. Bake at 350 degrees for about 5 minutes or until edges of cookies start to brown. Remove from oven and cool completely. Repeat with second half of cake mixture. Meanwhile, mix cream cheese, powdered sugar, vanilla, 1 tsp. water and a sprinkle of pumpkin pie spice and cinnamon in a small bowl. Once all of the cookies are completely cool, spread cream cheese filling on one cookie and top with a second cookie. The cookies were a bit sticky, so I put them on wax paper when I was done. Makes 24 whoopie pies.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Recipe: Steak and cheese

Usually when I get a craving for something, I try to find a healthier way to make it. This isn't exactly the kind of steak and cheese you'd get in Philadelphia, but it was quite tasty, very filling and much less likely to pack on the pounds.


Ingredients
1 flatbread (I used Joseph's multigrain, but you could use the FlatOut brand.)
3 slices deli roast beef
1 slice monterey jack cheese with jalapenos
1 small tomato, sliced and cut in half
Handful of fresh spinach (If this seems too odd for a steak and cheese, try adding mushrooms instead.)

To build the sandwich, place flatbread on a plate. Add the roast beef. Break cheese slice into long strips and place sporadically across the roast beef. Spread spinach on top and add tomato slices. Heat in microwave for 30 seconds. Roll flatbread and cut in half.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Weekly weigh-in: A breakthrough?

Last week's weight: 172.8
This week's weight: 169.8
Difference: -3
Total weight lost since January 2010: 102 pounds

I don't really know where to begin. This week has been overwhelming in so many ways. On the down side, my stress level was higher than it's been in months, I barely got a single night's good sleep and I felt hungry a lot. On the up side, I was diligent in my food choices, I exercised almost every day and by the end of the week my body seemed to be adjusting to the decreased amount of food.

I'm elated by a 3-pound loss this week, but I'm just a bit skeptical. Regardless, I feel like this was a breakthrough week. I had several opportunities to do the wrong thing, but I made smart choices. I'm really proud of how I thought through everything I ate and drank. For example, one night while out for dinner with friends, I wanted pizza. But I ordered a salad. I used very little dressing, yet I really enjoyed it. Sure, I would have liked the pizza better, but I would have felt so guilty for eating it.

I don't know whether the number on the scale will stay as low as it was this week. It doesn't matter. I know that mentally I found the strength to truly assess my choices. Even today, as a new week begins, I'm proud that I turned down munchkins from Dunkin Donuts. I did splurge a little at lunch and dinner, but I'm only over my daily Weight Watchers points allotment by a few points.

Oh, and for the record, I don't want anyone to think that I'm losing weight because I don't eat. That's simply not the case. I'm just eating less than I used to. Just to prove it, here's what I ate yesterday: cereal for breakfast, salad with a few bites of meatloaf and pork barbecue for lunch (I got it from a local salad bar), cut up mixed fruit for snack, string cheese for snack, veggie frittata for dinner, a peach for snack, a FiberOne brownie for snack and a Weight Watchers popsicle.

I'm hoping this week's weigh-in finally helped me cross the 100-pounds-lost mark for good. I know it won't be easy to maintain the weight loss much less lose the last 20 pounds, but I feel prepared and I know I can do it if I just set my mind to it. Plus, a quick trip to mall after work gave me a bit of a boost ... I can almost fit into a size 10. That's unbelievable!

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Weekly weigh-in: What's normal?

Last week's weight: 172.2
This week's weight: 172.8
Difference: +0.6
Total weight lost since January 2010: 99 pounds

I'm not surprised by the weight gain this week. I had several moments of weakness, including a giant chocolate chip cookie and a jumbo-sized bag of potato chips. I'm not going to dwell on it. I'll just try to do better this week.

I had two strange moments during the week. One came when I saw a photo someone had taken of me and I felt like I didn't even recognize myself. This happens fairly regularly, especially if it's a big group of people. I find myself studying the photo and wondering if that's what I really look like. I typically like what I see in the photo, but it's not the imagine in my head. I wonder if that will ever change?

The second odd encounter was when a woman I had just met told me I look "normal." I don't exactly remember what prompted me to tell her about my weight loss (but I do talk about it a lot). She was immediately excited to tell me that she, too, has lost weight with Weight Watchers. We started comparing stories about our journeys. Then she leaned in and said, "I know you'll understand what I'm about to tell you. You look normal." At first, it felt like a compliment. But then it started bothering me. What does normal look like? I know she meant it in the nicest way. Losing as much weight as I have is a major accomplishment and people genuinely seem excited for me.

Anyway, both moments struck me this week because they are about my self imagine. As the three-year anniversary of the start of this journey approaches, I worry that I'll never be able to truly see how much I've changed. And I also struggle with the realization that no matter how much progress I make, it's still very easy to slip back into old habits.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Recipe: Potato, broccoli and corn chowder

I must be craving carbs ... again. At least this time I'm trying to eat them in moderation and as part of an overall lowfat meal. Yesterday I made stuffed shells. Today I went with a creamy potato, broccoli and corn chowder. I can't wait to make the chowder again when winter rolls around.


Ingredients
2 cans (14.5 oz. each) 99% fat-free chicken broth
2 cups fat-free buttermilk
1 onion, chopped (You need about 1 cup. I used a yellow onion, but you can use whatever you like, but I wouldn't recommend red.)
1 2/3 lbs. potatoes, peeled and diced (I used Yukon gold, but you can use whatever you have on hand.)
3 tsp. garlic, minced
1 bay leaf
1 bag frozen chopped broccoli
1/2 cup frozen corn kernels
Salt and pepper to taste

Pour chicken broth into a large pot. Add potatoes, onion and garlic. Cover and bring to a boil. Once potatoes are tender, let mixture cool slightly. Mix with a handheld immersion blender. (If you don't have one, you can transfer the mixture in batches to a regular blender, but that might get messy. If you don't have an immersion blender, I'd recommend simply not blending it. It will just be soup instead of chowder.) Once creamy, add buttermilk, broccoli and corn. Cover until it returns to a light boil. Reduce heat and add salt and pepper. Makes 4 servings. (I added a sprinkle of parsley and shredded cheese, but that's not necessary.)


Saturday, August 4, 2012

Recipe: Stuffed shells

Yes, it is possible to eat pasta and lose weight. I must admit that I don't eat pasta very often and when I do, it's in small amounts. But I could never live without it. So here's a recipe I adapted from Weight Watchers for stuffed shells. Before I began my weight loss journey, I made them about once a month. And they were stuffed with full-fat mozzarella, ricotta, parmesan and ground beef and then topped with plenty of sauce and cheese. Now, I make them just a few times a year and each time I've made the recipe better and better. So here's the latest version, which has a little more heft (and fat) than the Weight Watchers version. But it is so yummy!


Ingredients
24 jumbo pasta shells (I prefer whole-wheat, but I couldn't find jumbo shells.)
1 cup fat-free ricotta cheese
1 cup 2% milk fat cottage cheese
1 package frozen spinach
1 tsp. garlic salt
1 tbsp. Italian seasoning
Sprinkle of red pepper flakes
1 can (15 oz.) tomato sauce
1 can (8 oz.) tomato sauce with basil, garlic and oregano
1/4 cup 2% milk fat mozzarella cheese, shredded
2 tbsp. parmesan cheese, shredded
Sprinkle of grated parmesan cheese
Cooking spray

Cook shells according to package directions. Thaw spinach in a large bowl in the microwave. Mix in ricotta, cottage cheese, garlic salt, Italian seasoning and red pepper flakes. Coat a large baking dish with cooking spray. After pasta is slightly cooled, stuff each shell with about 2 tablespoons of filling and place in baking dish. Pour both cans of tomato sauce over shells. Sprinkle with shredded cheeses. Bake at 350 degrees until sauce begins to bubble. About 15-20 minutes. To serve, put four shells on a plate and add just a sprinkle of grated parmesan. Makes 6 servings.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Weekly weigh-in: It's a wash

Last week's weight: 173.8
This week's weight: 172.2
Difference: -1.6
Total weight lost since January 2010: 99.6

The past two weeks have been somewhat of a blur. I've been working a ton and feel like I've barely had time to stop and think. That means I haven't been very diligent about monitoring what I eat and I've gotten in very little exercise. So I guess it's no surprise that I gained last week, but I lost this weight. And I'm right back where I was two weeks ago.

Once again, this is just proof that even when life gets in the way, I can maintain my weight loss. I've had a lot of opportunity in the past two days to talk about myself and how I operate. The biggest thing I realized is just how different I am today than I was three years ago. My entire thought process and approach to life has changed.

I often feel like I'm not very confident. But someone I consider a role model told me today that I'm a lot more confidant than I give myself credit for. I'm glad I come across as confident ... even if I may not always feel that way on the inside.

What I also noticed during my discussions this week is just how more positive I am now than I used to be. I'm still realistic and not one to sugar coat things, but I'm much more able to see the possibilities that lie ahead and to handle uncertainty.

The moral of the story this week: I feel good about myself.