If you're a regular reader, you know that back in December I tried out two different boot camp programs. At the time, I decided that the cost was more than I could afford. Well, with my tax refund in hand, I signed up this week for a six-week challenge at one of the boot camps.
The first session was Wednesday afternoon. It included a weigh-in and body measurements. And the workout focused on total body fitness. I couldn't do every exercise for the entire time required, but I was close. By the end of the 45-minute session, I had a lot of muscle aches and pains, but I felt fantastic. I was so proud of myself for making it through the class and I was pumped for the next session.
I went again today after work. This session focused on cardio, and it was harder because I was sore from yesterday but also because I've not really done any cardio ... ever! So I struggled but I kept trying. I had to take more breaks, but I wasn't giving up.
About five minutes before the class ended, however, everything went bad. We were supposed to push a a really heavy punching bag across the floor. I simply couldn't do it. During round one when I couldn't do it, other women tried telling me how to stand differently to be more successful. For the second attempt, I tried. But I couldn't do it. Then other women started shouting at me about what I was doing wrong. One woman even said: "We're not leaving until you do it." At first, they seemed like they were just trying to be supportive. But repeatedly yelling at me about how I'm not doing it right really wasn't a good way to motivate me to try harder.
I almost started crying then. But I kept it together for the last station and the stretching afterward. As soon as I got in my car, I couldn't hold it in. I cried nearly the whole way home. I had serious flashbacks to10th grade when a gym teacher told me he was going to flunk me if I didn't run a mile around the track. At the time, I weighed 187 pounds ... pretty close to what I weigh now.
Now that I'm home and I've showered and I'm having a glass of wine, I feel a little better. But this incident just goes to show me that even after four years on this journey, I'm still dealing emotional issues that led to the weight gain in the first place. Luckily, after two days of boot camp, I had already decided to take tomorrow off. I'm just hoping that I can mentally get back in a good place before Saturday's class.
Finally, aside from this one incident, I've loved both classes. They've made me feel good about myself. But, of course, my brain keeps focusing on that one moment when everyone was yelling at me because I failed.
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Saturday, February 1, 2014
Baby steps are better than no steps
I didn't intend to wait an entire month before updating everyone on my progress this year. I just got busy with stuff and didn't feel like I had anything worthwhile to say.
On Jan. 1, I blogged about making this year less about the number on the scale and more about how I feel and how my clothes fit. A month in and the number on the scale is slightly better than it was Jan. 1 (down about 2 pounds), but there's no real difference in how my clothes are fitting. Most days, everything feels too tight. And that's depressing.
The good news, however, is that the size 12 skirt I'm hoping to fit into by May 1 does seem to be fitting a little better. I zipped it when I put it on this morning, but I couldn't breath or move. So it's possible I'm imagining progress because I don't want to admit defeat.
I started the month off well. Eating right and exercising regularly for the first two weeks. The second half of the month, however, wasn't good. I ate terrible foods and drank too much wine. I didn't track anything for nearly two weeks. I'm not going to get into details, but I definitely let emotional eating get the better of me.
February is a short month, so I don't have much time to make progress toward my goal. And, based on my current level of focus, I don't even feel like I have a good plan for staying on track this month. I know I have to get my eating under control, but I also feel like exercise might be more helpful in getting the skirt to fit. (It's the flabby part right around my stomach and hips that's causing the problem with my clothes not fitting.)
I don't like ending on a negative note. So, for now, I'm just going to try to remember how far I've come and be glad that despite setbacks and obstacles, I'm maintaining. I've been exactly this weight for a year. That is progress.
On Jan. 1, I blogged about making this year less about the number on the scale and more about how I feel and how my clothes fit. A month in and the number on the scale is slightly better than it was Jan. 1 (down about 2 pounds), but there's no real difference in how my clothes are fitting. Most days, everything feels too tight. And that's depressing.
The good news, however, is that the size 12 skirt I'm hoping to fit into by May 1 does seem to be fitting a little better. I zipped it when I put it on this morning, but I couldn't breath or move. So it's possible I'm imagining progress because I don't want to admit defeat.
I started the month off well. Eating right and exercising regularly for the first two weeks. The second half of the month, however, wasn't good. I ate terrible foods and drank too much wine. I didn't track anything for nearly two weeks. I'm not going to get into details, but I definitely let emotional eating get the better of me.
February is a short month, so I don't have much time to make progress toward my goal. And, based on my current level of focus, I don't even feel like I have a good plan for staying on track this month. I know I have to get my eating under control, but I also feel like exercise might be more helpful in getting the skirt to fit. (It's the flabby part right around my stomach and hips that's causing the problem with my clothes not fitting.)
I don't like ending on a negative note. So, for now, I'm just going to try to remember how far I've come and be glad that despite setbacks and obstacles, I'm maintaining. I've been exactly this weight for a year. That is progress.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
