Last week's weight: 179.4
This week's weight: 180.4
Difference: +1
Total weight lost since January 2010: 91.4
I'm so glad this year is almost over. It's really been terrible in so many ways -- the least of which is my failure to make significant progress in my weight-loss journey. I started the year wanting to lose about 40 more pounds. I didn't come anywhere close to that goal. I could blame my failure on a lot of personal and professional stress during the past year, but I'm not a big fan of excuses. So I didn't achieve my goal and that's that.
I'm ending the year on a positive note and feeling optimistic about 2012. At my final weigh-in of 2010, I weighed 193.4. I wrote at the time that the number on the scale no longer mattered. Instead, how I felt was important. Somewhere along the way, I forgot that. And I did, indeed, lose 13 pounds this year, which is significant because it's now been two years since I started this journey. The more time that goes by without me gaining back the weight, the more I feel like I've truly changed my lifestyle.
As for how I feel ... I have good days and bad days. The emotional stress of this year has taken its toll on my mental progress. But the good days are starting to outweigh the bad days and I see the person I want to be slowly emerging. I saw two photos of myself recently and I felt like I didn't even recognize myself. I looked pretty and like a normal-sized person. That's hard for me to admit, especially because the person I see in those photos is not the person I see in the mirror. It's really very confusing.
My long-term goal is to maintain my weight somewhere between 150 and 155 pounds. That means I've got 30 pounds to go. I'm starting 2012 hoping to get there by the end of the year. I've been doing really well lately, so I'm even going to make a short-term goal of 10 pounds by April 1, which is a little less than a pound a week. That's ambitious, but I've never been one to shy away from a challenge and I always set high expectations for myself. Wish me luck!
Friday, December 30, 2011
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Assessing the damage
For the record, I did officially weigh-in on Friday. I apologize for not posting my weekly update. With traveling for the holidays, I didn't have time. Anyway, it was good news. My weight was 179.4 -- a loss of a pound from the previous Friday and a total loss of 92.4 pounds since January 2010.
After a successful weigh-in, I headed out of town to visit my family feeling pretty good. I opted not to take my scale with me and I knew going into the long weekend that I wouldn't be able to avoid a few indulgences. I made some good choices and some bad choices.
Four days later, I came back to Wilmington feeling as if I'd gained 10 pounds. I was trying not to panic, but I was worried that I'd completely erased all of the progress I'd made in the past two months. It's really been a struggle to get past that 90-pounds-lost mark this year.
Luckily, when I stepped on the scale this afternoon, the number wasn't as bad as I had expected. It said 181.2, which is a slight gain. But I think that's acceptable over the holidays. The real challenge is going to be curtailing the splurges now that I'm back home. I'm already feeling antsy because I want a snack -- chocolate, perhaps. I think I'm going through withdrawal. So far, though, I'm back to counting my Weight Watchers points and I haven't given in to temptation yet.
Of course, the real evidence of whether I succeeded will come on Friday. My goal for the past two months has been to end the year at less than 181.8 pounds. It's going to be close.
After a successful weigh-in, I headed out of town to visit my family feeling pretty good. I opted not to take my scale with me and I knew going into the long weekend that I wouldn't be able to avoid a few indulgences. I made some good choices and some bad choices.
Four days later, I came back to Wilmington feeling as if I'd gained 10 pounds. I was trying not to panic, but I was worried that I'd completely erased all of the progress I'd made in the past two months. It's really been a struggle to get past that 90-pounds-lost mark this year.
Luckily, when I stepped on the scale this afternoon, the number wasn't as bad as I had expected. It said 181.2, which is a slight gain. But I think that's acceptable over the holidays. The real challenge is going to be curtailing the splurges now that I'm back home. I'm already feeling antsy because I want a snack -- chocolate, perhaps. I think I'm going through withdrawal. So far, though, I'm back to counting my Weight Watchers points and I haven't given in to temptation yet.
Of course, the real evidence of whether I succeeded will come on Friday. My goal for the past two months has been to end the year at less than 181.8 pounds. It's going to be close.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Persisting toward success
I came home from work today, put on my pajamas and fell right into bed. Bundled up under the covers, I started watching a silly kids movie (Aladdin). All I could think about was how I wish I could fly away on a magic carpet for a little while. Then, I started trying to remember the last time I felt truly relaxed. For me, it's a state of calm where I feel physically and mentally at ease. I honestly don't remember the last time I felt that way.
The past two months have been much better and at least I've been losing weight again. But something's still not quite right. I can't explain it, so I won't really even try. I just know that some days are harder than others.
It didn't help that I weighed when I got home from work and the scale clearly hates me this week. I've religiously recorded my Weight Watchers points ... even all the bad stuff I ate/drank Friday ... and I've done fairly well the rest of the week. But the scale is up three pounds. I know there's no reason to panic. I'm eating right and exercising almost daily. It's hard to accept that number on a day where I ate a doughnut. My brain immediately decides that eating one doughnut caused me to gain three pounds. Then, I think: Why am I even bothering? I can't go through life and never eat another doughnut.
Yes, I realize that's irrational. I know ups and downs are natural. I've been here before. I'm sure the number on the scale today is a result of several recent indulgences and a lot of stress over the past two days. Knowing this, however, doesn't make me feel any better. And it didn't stop me from curling up under the covers and sulking for about 45 minutes. The sulking also came with lots of thoughts about simply ordering whatever I wanted for dinner tonight. If the scale isn't going to cooperate when I try to do the right thing, then maybe I shouldn't try.
Luckily, I'm generally a pretty sensible person. I pulled myself out of bed and headed for my exercise bike. After 3 miles in 30 minutes, I had more aches and pains than normal ... but I felt a little better. That led me to the kitchen where I'm roasting squash/zucchini as I type this. It will go with leftover pork tenderloin and roasted beets.
Unless I go off the deep end after dinner, I should avoid going over my WW points for the day. Forget the scale. I know I have to just keep trying. Persistence will pay off.
The past two months have been much better and at least I've been losing weight again. But something's still not quite right. I can't explain it, so I won't really even try. I just know that some days are harder than others.
It didn't help that I weighed when I got home from work and the scale clearly hates me this week. I've religiously recorded my Weight Watchers points ... even all the bad stuff I ate/drank Friday ... and I've done fairly well the rest of the week. But the scale is up three pounds. I know there's no reason to panic. I'm eating right and exercising almost daily. It's hard to accept that number on a day where I ate a doughnut. My brain immediately decides that eating one doughnut caused me to gain three pounds. Then, I think: Why am I even bothering? I can't go through life and never eat another doughnut.
Yes, I realize that's irrational. I know ups and downs are natural. I've been here before. I'm sure the number on the scale today is a result of several recent indulgences and a lot of stress over the past two days. Knowing this, however, doesn't make me feel any better. And it didn't stop me from curling up under the covers and sulking for about 45 minutes. The sulking also came with lots of thoughts about simply ordering whatever I wanted for dinner tonight. If the scale isn't going to cooperate when I try to do the right thing, then maybe I shouldn't try.
Luckily, I'm generally a pretty sensible person. I pulled myself out of bed and headed for my exercise bike. After 3 miles in 30 minutes, I had more aches and pains than normal ... but I felt a little better. That led me to the kitchen where I'm roasting squash/zucchini as I type this. It will go with leftover pork tenderloin and roasted beets.
Unless I go off the deep end after dinner, I should avoid going over my WW points for the day. Forget the scale. I know I have to just keep trying. Persistence will pay off.
Friday, December 16, 2011
Weekly weigh-in: Oh well
Last week's weight: 180.6
This week's weight: 180.4
Difference: -0.2
Total weight lost since January 2010: 91.4
I know I should be thankful that I didn't gain this week, but after so many good weeks, it's still hard to take such a small loss. OK, that was my one whining moment. Now, onto the realization that given the foods I ate this week, I am lucky to have lost weight. Plus, I knew it was going to be a struggle with so many holiday events. As long as I can stay at 90 pounds or more lost until January, I can handle it. That really is my goal, which I think is completely reasonable. Well, as long as I stay away from the cookies today.
This week's weight: 180.4
Difference: -0.2
Total weight lost since January 2010: 91.4
I know I should be thankful that I didn't gain this week, but after so many good weeks, it's still hard to take such a small loss. OK, that was my one whining moment. Now, onto the realization that given the foods I ate this week, I am lucky to have lost weight. Plus, I knew it was going to be a struggle with so many holiday events. As long as I can stay at 90 pounds or more lost until January, I can handle it. That really is my goal, which I think is completely reasonable. Well, as long as I stay away from the cookies today.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
A slippery slope
I'm pretty sure I've blogged on this topic before, but I'm trying to convince myself to be strong. It's not really working. It started a couple of weeks ago with a few peppermint patties. Then, I had a few dark chocolate Hershey's kisses and a few mini Reese's peanut butter cups. A few turned into a few every day for several days.
The good news is that the candy is all gone. No, I didn't eat the entire bags. I had bought the candy because I'm making small gift bags for my team at work. I need 18 bags, so I bought a lot of candy. By this past weekend, I'd eaten a piece or two here and there so many times, that I had to buy more candy. I did make the bags on Sunday, but I somehow convinced myself that some of the candy was leftover. I didn't want to give one person more than another. Of course, that was just an excuse to save some for myself.
And now the bad news is that I seem to be craving sugar and chocolate all the time. It doesn't help that Tuesday was a pretty big splurge day because two meals were prepared for me. I had a choice at lunch and could have skipped the giant cookie and half a brownie. But I didn't. Then, today I splurged at lunch with a chicken club on Texas toast with two kinds of cheese and a side of potato fries.
The scale is starting to notice. A quick check when I got home tonight showed a slight uptick from last week. With a holiday luncheon at work tomorrow, I'm starting to panic that I'm slipping too much lately. That's what happened before. A small indulgence here and there and the next thing I knew I was buying baked mac and cheese at Fresh Market and devouring four-cheese pizza from Harris Teeter.
I'm trying so hard to keep my eating under control. I'm even taking steamed vegetables to the luncheon in hopes that I can resist most of the bad foods. I know I won't, though. Do I continue to try to fight the temptation or make a plan to eat just a dab of this and a spoonful of that?
The good news is that the candy is all gone. No, I didn't eat the entire bags. I had bought the candy because I'm making small gift bags for my team at work. I need 18 bags, so I bought a lot of candy. By this past weekend, I'd eaten a piece or two here and there so many times, that I had to buy more candy. I did make the bags on Sunday, but I somehow convinced myself that some of the candy was leftover. I didn't want to give one person more than another. Of course, that was just an excuse to save some for myself.
And now the bad news is that I seem to be craving sugar and chocolate all the time. It doesn't help that Tuesday was a pretty big splurge day because two meals were prepared for me. I had a choice at lunch and could have skipped the giant cookie and half a brownie. But I didn't. Then, today I splurged at lunch with a chicken club on Texas toast with two kinds of cheese and a side of potato fries.
The scale is starting to notice. A quick check when I got home tonight showed a slight uptick from last week. With a holiday luncheon at work tomorrow, I'm starting to panic that I'm slipping too much lately. That's what happened before. A small indulgence here and there and the next thing I knew I was buying baked mac and cheese at Fresh Market and devouring four-cheese pizza from Harris Teeter.
I'm trying so hard to keep my eating under control. I'm even taking steamed vegetables to the luncheon in hopes that I can resist most of the bad foods. I know I won't, though. Do I continue to try to fight the temptation or make a plan to eat just a dab of this and a spoonful of that?
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Holiday meal planning
Between yesterday and today, I've spent about five hours searching through cookbooks and online sites for healthy recipes to get me through a four-day holiday weekend at home in Virginia. Luckily, my mom's willing to go along with my need to at least make some low-fat foods.
I'm sure I'll do plenty of splurging, but it's important for me to eat well when I can. So my mom and I agreed on a long list of low-fat recipes. (Just remember this is over a four-day period) They include:
The not-so-healthy stuff includes homemade dressing, gravy, mashed potatoes and alcohol. If I can keep these to a minimum and not overdo it on the healthy items either, I might manage to make it through Christmas without gaining. Well, and if I do, maybe it'll just be a couple of pounds. I can live with a slight gain, but anything more than two pounds will feel like a setback.
I'm sure I'll do plenty of splurging, but it's important for me to eat well when I can. So my mom and I agreed on a long list of low-fat recipes. (Just remember this is over a four-day period) They include:
- Shepherd's pie
- Baked chicken nuggets
- Baked zucchini sticks
- Cheesy stuffed mushrooms
- Pumpkin fritters
- Pumpkin swirl cheesecake yogurt cupcakes
- Cranberry almond chocolate bark
- Sweet potato-cranberry casserole
- Brussels sprouts
- Wilted spinach
- Veggie tray with hummus
- Lowfat breakfast casserole
- Fruit
- Roasted turkey breast
The not-so-healthy stuff includes homemade dressing, gravy, mashed potatoes and alcohol. If I can keep these to a minimum and not overdo it on the healthy items either, I might manage to make it through Christmas without gaining. Well, and if I do, maybe it'll just be a couple of pounds. I can live with a slight gain, but anything more than two pounds will feel like a setback.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Weekly weigh-in: Cautious optimism
Last week's weight: 182.2
This week's weight: 180.6
Difference: -1.6
Total weight lost since January 2010: 91.2
I finally crossed the 90-pounds-lost mark this week. Naturally, I'm excited and feel great about my progress. But, based on my history of ups and downs this year, I'm not ready to celebrate just yet. I've had a good run the past six weeks or so, which makes me feel like I'm headed in the right direction. But the next three weeks could be disastrous. I have several holiday events to attend and a few other special functions that involve food, so I know I'm going to have to be extremely diligent to maintain my current weight loss. Still, after a year where I have failed to achieve my weight loss goal, I'm happy to be where I am and to be losing again. And I've noticed a big improvement in my attitude lately and I generally feel better than I did a few months ago. For now, that's enough.
This week's weight: 180.6
Difference: -1.6
Total weight lost since January 2010: 91.2
I finally crossed the 90-pounds-lost mark this week. Naturally, I'm excited and feel great about my progress. But, based on my history of ups and downs this year, I'm not ready to celebrate just yet. I've had a good run the past six weeks or so, which makes me feel like I'm headed in the right direction. But the next three weeks could be disastrous. I have several holiday events to attend and a few other special functions that involve food, so I know I'm going to have to be extremely diligent to maintain my current weight loss. Still, after a year where I have failed to achieve my weight loss goal, I'm happy to be where I am and to be losing again. And I've noticed a big improvement in my attitude lately and I generally feel better than I did a few months ago. For now, that's enough.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Gaining perspective
I've found myself talking a lot lately about making choices. In the past two years, I've come to realize that I am responsible for the decisions I make, how I approach life and how I feel each day.
It's not fool proof, but I try to remember that I have a choice about pretty much everything. Sometimes, it doesn't feel like it. And that's when the negativity tends to creep out. For almost six weeks now, though, I've shifted my thinking and I'm truly happier.
I still have a lot of stress to deal with, but it's much easier to handle when I don't let anxiety get the better of me. And every day I feel like I'm being pushed past my limits and that my patience isn't going to hold up. But then it does and the day comes to an end and I feel good.
I have a choice. I can let the negative moments weigh me down or I can rise above it and keep my eye on the target. I find that when I keep calm and I keep things in perspective, the days are much easier.
So my challenge to you all is to start tomorrow with a positive attitude and to get through the entire day without letting your frustration, stress, anger, whatever drive you into a bad place. The moment you feel it happening, remember: You have a choice.
It's not fool proof, but I try to remember that I have a choice about pretty much everything. Sometimes, it doesn't feel like it. And that's when the negativity tends to creep out. For almost six weeks now, though, I've shifted my thinking and I'm truly happier.
I still have a lot of stress to deal with, but it's much easier to handle when I don't let anxiety get the better of me. And every day I feel like I'm being pushed past my limits and that my patience isn't going to hold up. But then it does and the day comes to an end and I feel good.
I have a choice. I can let the negative moments weigh me down or I can rise above it and keep my eye on the target. I find that when I keep calm and I keep things in perspective, the days are much easier.
So my challenge to you all is to start tomorrow with a positive attitude and to get through the entire day without letting your frustration, stress, anger, whatever drive you into a bad place. The moment you feel it happening, remember: You have a choice.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Weekly weigh-in: Controlled chaos
Last week's weight: 183.4
This week's weight: 182.2
Difference: -1.2
Total weight lost since January 2010: 89.6
I did actually weigh-in Friday morning, but the chaos of movie filming in the newsroom kept me from having time to blog yesterday. I'm pleased with the number I saw on the scale, but I fear I got lucky because when I weighed this morning, my weight was the same as last week's. I wouldn't have been surprised if I hadn't lost weight this week. I did well with exercising, but my eating wasn't great. Lots of little splurges ... almost something every day.
As I noted earlier in the week, though, I'm happy that as I ate more, I exercised more. The week was quite hectic and chaotic. I didn't always make the best choices but I didn't make the worst choices either. I feel like I need to really focus this week so I don't lose sight of my goal.
I am so close to reaching the 90-pounds-lost milestone. I'd really like to get there this week, but I know I am going to have to be vigilant ... especially with more holiday events just around the corner.
This week's weight: 182.2
Difference: -1.2
Total weight lost since January 2010: 89.6
I did actually weigh-in Friday morning, but the chaos of movie filming in the newsroom kept me from having time to blog yesterday. I'm pleased with the number I saw on the scale, but I fear I got lucky because when I weighed this morning, my weight was the same as last week's. I wouldn't have been surprised if I hadn't lost weight this week. I did well with exercising, but my eating wasn't great. Lots of little splurges ... almost something every day.
As I noted earlier in the week, though, I'm happy that as I ate more, I exercised more. The week was quite hectic and chaotic. I didn't always make the best choices but I didn't make the worst choices either. I feel like I need to really focus this week so I don't lose sight of my goal.
I am so close to reaching the 90-pounds-lost milestone. I'd really like to get there this week, but I know I am going to have to be vigilant ... especially with more holiday events just around the corner.
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