It's not rocket science

I've been feeling a little out of sorts for a few days. I thought that taking the long weekend to relax and really focus on my eating habits would help. Yet I'm sitting here inhaling chocolate chips as I type this post. I didn't lose control of my eating until yesterday. About 4 pm I ate a giant bowl of pasta. Then I had ice cream. Then I scarfed down five white cheddar rice cakes. And I still ate leftover chicken tacos for dinner. I'm disappointed in myself because I ruined a really good exercise day with food I had no business eating. Today wasn't much better. I didn't eat anything too crazy ... well, until the chocolate chips. They're all gone now so I guess they won't be tempting me any longer. My point is that it doesn't take a genius to figure out why I've fallen off the wagon (even if it is just slightly). A year ago at this time, my dad was rushed to the hospital and died later that night. He actually died on May 31 but it was the Tuesday after Memorial Day. I'd had a fun weekend and was packing for a trip to Asheville. Since I had to cancel my trip last year, I'm that much more excited about going this year. I'm scheduled to leave on Thursday. But I can't help but think about my dad and my family this week. I'm not upset, but I am agitated. As I've noted before, I'm an emotional eater. I'm trying not to stress about it, but the scale has gone up three pounds since Friday. I'm trying to give myself leeway. So what if I gain a few pounds? As of Friday, I'd lost almost 102 pounds. I've gone from a size 22/24 to a size 12. I put on a nightgown tonight from before and it's like wearing a tent. I bought a dress today in a size large when I used to wear 3X. I never would have even bought a dress before because I didn't want people to see my legs. So I'm trying to convince myself that a few pounds doesn't make me the size I used to be. A few pounds doesn't actually change anything. Losing control and eating a bunch of chocolate chips or pasta isn't a problem unless I make it a habit. I've made a lot of progress and most of the time I make the right choices even in stressful situations. It's ok to make a bad choice every now and then. That's life.