Weekly weigh-in: Not easily fooled

Last week's weight: 188.8
This week's weight: 186.6
Difference: -2.2
Total weight lost since January 2010: 85.2

Sorry my weekly check-in is a day late. I did, in fact, weigh Friday morning as usual, but yesterday was so chaotic at work that I didn't have to blog. When I got home, I was exhausted and never even turned on my computer.

Anyway, I know I should be happy with a loss after last week's significant gain. But I'm not. Obviously, I'm still hovering around the same number -- give or take a few pounds each week. As you know, I use the Weight Watchers online version to help me keep track of my progress. I entered my weight this week and made the mistake of looking at the chart for the past 12 weeks.

Zero weight lost. Three months have gone by and I have nothing to show for it. I want to convince myself that at least I'm not gaining. Everyone else tells me that I should be proud of how far I've come and that if I never lose another pound, it's OK. But it takes more than that to fool my brain.

I recognize the progress I've made. Not only with losing weight, but also in exercising and simply being healthier. I am proud of that, but I'm not happy with where I am. I set a realistic end goal -- between 150 and 155 pounds. I just can't figure out how to get there.

I've spent a lot of time lately looking back to try to determine when things truly got off track. Based on the numbers on the scale, my weight loss slowed dramatically starting in November of last year. I had a lot going on in my life and that's when I really started seeing myself as a different person. That's also when I started allowing myself indulgences. Then the holidays came. And I've simply never recovered.

I keep trying, but it won't stick. Every time I feel like I'm making progress, I allow myself to splurge. I don't know how to get myself to make the right choices again. I know what to do, but I don't do it. I know I have to keep trying.

I've been thinking that maybe a change in my routine might help. For example, I've thought about starting to attend Weight Watchers meetings. So far, I've only used the online tracking system. Do the meetings make a difference?