I need a do-over

If you read my post this morning, then you know I wasn't in a very good frame of mind. In fact, after I wrote it, I went back to bed and cried. The blubbering lasted only about 5 minutes (thankfully) and then I sat in bed and ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while I finished reading my book. At the time, I was suffering from a terrible migraine and I wondered if the pain would ever subside. Luckily, medication helped and within about an hour, I was formulating a plan for the day.

That's when I realized I needed a do-over. I really hate when I start feeling sorry for myself. This latest bout of self-loathing started a few days ago. And I finally gave into it this morning. I let all of the negative feelings come to the surface and they manifested themselves in a gloomy blog post and a tearful outburst.

I guess the emotional meltdown helped, though. Once I got back out of bed, I headed to the grocery store. I knew it wouldn't be easy to avoid the pizza I'd been thinking about since Friday or the carrot cake or the potato chips. But I had a plan for what I wanted to cook today -- a healthy roasted garlic and potato soup and lowfat mini cheesecakes with cherries on top.

I stopped briefly to look at the pizza, but I convinced myself not to put it in the cart. In the baking aisle, I almost bought a box of brownie mix. But I kept moving. When I found the pie filling, which I needed for the top of the cheesecakes, I was torn. The regular store brand was a lot cheaper than the name brand sugar-free kind. I did the right thing and didn't worry about spending an extra $1.50. I did have one slip ... I bought two individual-sized pieces of candy -- a chocolate-covered marshmallow heart and a chocolate-covered coconut heart. I rationalized that two pieces of candy would be a lot better than an entire pizza.

Once I got home, I walked two laps around the park and made a banana smoothie with almond milk for a snack when I was done. I'm ashamed that I let myself feel so bad earlier. There's really no excuse for it. I'm a big believer that we're all responsible for our own happiness. All-in-all, I'm feeling much better about myself now. Let's hope it lasts.