Starting to panic

I hesitate to write this post because I think most rational people will tell me I'm being crazy or just whining. But I'm hoping that getting it out will make me feel better.

I came on vacation knowing that I would probably gain a couple of pounds. I felt mentally prepared to do so. The first two days were fine. I went a little overboard, but I wasn't too worried since I feel like I'm expanding a lot more energy than normal. There are lots of stairs I have to climb to get to and from the dock and riding in a boat when the water's rough definitely used a lot of muscles I didn't know I had.

On Monday, I got right back on track. I felt good. But the scale simply isn't cooperating. As of this morning, I've gained 2 pounds. Sure that's not so bad. But the week is only halfway over. Plus, I woke up at 5 a.m. worried about it. Have I become so accustomed to losing weight these past six months that I'm not mentally prepared to gain?

It's important to me that I lose weight in a way that allows me to keep it off for the rest of my life. That's why it's also important to me that I manage the mental side as well. I don't want to be the person who NEVER takes a bite of cake or eats a french fry because I'm afraid to gain weight.

So why am I so panicked this week? I think I fear that one splurge will lead to another one and then another one and then I'll be right back where I was. And I've worked hard these past six months, so gaining weight now means that work was for nothing. That doesn't fit well with my rational mind, which is very efficient and believes in doing things right the first time.