I decided to take on the challenge of reorganizing my closet this afternoon. It was time. Most of the clothes I've been wearing for years are too big. People have been telling me that for months, but I just couldn't believe them. As I've said before, I look in the mirror and I don't see a difference. Yes, the irrational side of my brain has been poking at the rational side again.
As I was moving stuff around in the closet, I started to panic. My new clothes don't look anything like my old clothes. The "new" side has sleeveless shirts and skirts. Seriously. Am I really going to wear those skirts? They aren't even new. They are clothes I haven't worn in 6 or 7 years, but now they fit again. I tried a couple on. I can't tell if they look good. All I could think about was showing my legs. To be fair, I did wear a skirt to work on Friday and no one made fun of me or pointed and stared. Still, my brain isn't sure.
I didn't quite finish my organizing because the anxiety was too much. I'm not sure I can face the "new" clothes again today.
I want to be clear, though. I'm not complaining. I'm thrilled to be losing weight. But it is mentally challenging. Part of me feels like I'm becoming a different person. I like that person better, but change isn't easy.
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