Weekly weigh-in: I've hit rock bottom

Last week's weight: 189.2
This week's weight: I don't weigh-in until I go to work this afternoon.
Difference: It's not going to be pretty.
Total weight lost: I'll record this later today even though I'm tempted not to this week.

You can probably tell already that it hasn't been a good week in my weight-loss journey. I dare say I've hit rock bottom and it's time to think about simply starting over. Since just before Thanksgiving, I've been allowing myself to "splurge" from time to time. Well, over time, it's just gotten worse and worse.

Food is an addiction. I eat one bad thing and I want another. Then another. You get the picture. You may not care, but I feel the need to come clean about all the bad things I've eaten and drank this past week. They include: wine, beer, Chinese food, hibachi steak and chicken, fried rice (twice), an ice cream sundae, pancakes, bacon, fried potatoes, frozen pizza, fritos, potstickers, spring rolls, corned beef and cabbage, potato chips ... and to top it off, I had a big mac and french fries from McDonald's last night. I know some of these foods and drinks would be OK in moderation. The problem is that I'm not controlling how much I eat.

If you don't have this addiction, you don't understand it. I don't even understand it, but I know it exists. That said, I also know that I have the power to overcome the addiction. I did it for a year. The key is figuring out how to do it forever.

I've said all along that I wasn't going to stress too much about the weekly weight loss or gain as long as I was losing overall and getting closer to my goal. But I feel this week has been a wake-up call. It's time to decide if I'm going to continue down the healthy eating path or go back to being the person I was before.

Just by the fact that I'm writing about it in the blog, I think you probably know which direction I'm choosing. The way I've been eating lately has affected me physically and mentally. I don't like the way all the processed food and sugar make me feel. So I'm starting over right now. It's not going to be easy, especially since I've been eating out more. But it's what I want.

I know the first few days/weeks will be the hardest. Pretty much eliminating sugar will probably make me a little grumpy. I just hope others will understand and be supportive. It is going to take a lot of focus and will power. (Off to a good start. Just broke the news to my boyfriend that our plan to go to dinner at a fondue restaurant tomorrow night might not be a good idea. Naturally, he's willing to go somewhere else. Awww.) I've clearly already proven that I can do this. I did it for a year and never felt better. Wish me luck!