Please don't judge

I've been trying to stop myself from writing this blog post because it's embarrassing (and my mother sometimes reads my blog), but I've been pretty honest so far. One of the reasons this summer has been so full of ups and downs is because I've allowed myself to develop this amazing crush. I hardly know the guy, but there's just something about him. Funny thing is that I didn't know it right away. But once I knew, I knew. He makes me smile and laugh. I don't think he knows it, but I suspect he's at least suspicious. I can't say much more for fear that I'm giving away too much. As far as I know, there are only a handful of people who actually know how I feel. I've tried to erase the person from my mind, but it's not working. Some friends have tried to convince me to make the first move, but that's never going to happen. One of those same friends says it's time to forget about this guy. He says the guy is flirting, but he's skeptical that the guy isn't serious. That makes me skeptical. So I'm trying to focus on something else. But it's not working. I want to put myself out there, but it's hard. My self-esteem has been so low for so long. What am I supposed to do?