Stop looking at me

A friend asked me today why I've been changing my facebook profile photo so much lately. The answer is simple, yet so very complicated. I change the photo when I'm tired of looking at myself and I don't want others looking at me.

Despite all of the progress I've made on this journey, I really still struggle with my self-image. And that struggle manifests itself in strange ways sometimes. For example, I wore a pair of pants that were two sizes too big today because I convinced myself this morning that nothing else fit. And I didn't even have a photo of me as my profile picture until a couple of months ago. It was a huge step forward.

But it's no secret (if you are a regular reader or a close friend) that I've been in a bit of a rut lately. Something's off. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's not one specific thing. I just haven't felt as confident and sure of myself in the past week or so.

For the record, I have taken other positive steps in the past week that show progress. As usual, though, I've probably focused too much on the setbacks. So, two steps forward, one step back.

I believe this phase will pass. I just have to wait it out. I'm not going to let it bother me, but I also feel like it is a process. And I believe that giving myself room to work through the process in my own way is important and will ultimately lead to long-term success.