I don't do sick!

This probably won't come as a surprise to anyone, but being sick makes me feel weak and vulnerable. I don't handle those emotions very well. I'm strong-willed and I don't like when I'm not in control. Yes, I can admit it. So being sick is just unacceptable. I know. No one likes it. But I get sick so rarely that I really feel like it's something I can't deal with. I simply don't know how to respond. Of course, my typical response is to fight it. I can't even usually admit when I'm sick

I felt so bad Monday night that I knew immediately something was wrong. Looking back over the past few days, though, there were probably signs. Achy muscles (I blamed it on walking a lot), sleeping a lot (completely out of character for me) and general malaise (which I thought had to do with not being on track with my weight loss).

I don't even know what's wrong with me exactly. It started with uncontrollable shivering, which lasted about two hours. Then, I was so hot I thought flames might shoot out of head for about an hour. Five hours after it came on, I fell asleep. Woke up this morning feeling like a new person. I wasn't 100 percent, but I no longer had a 101 degree fever, so I figured I was on the mend.

Off to work I went. I had two important meetings that I felt like I couldn't reschedule. By the time they were done, I was exhausted and feeling much worse than when I woke up. I've been at home on the couch since about 1:30 p.m. Again, I was freezing. But now I'm hot again. No fever, though. At least not according to my thermometer. Other symptoms include a minor sore throat, a slight cough and a little bit of a headache. And every muscle in my body hurts. OK, that sounds like the flu.

The problem is that the cold/flu medicine has made my brain a little fuzzy, which is making it hard to actually get any work done. If I don't do work now, I'll just feel more stressed tomorrow. Honestly, I'm also a little bored. Just sitting on the couch watching TV isn't an easy task for me these days. I'm too antsy and fidgety. Some people have suggested sleeping. Really? I'm not even a little bit sleepy.

Oh, and unlike most people who don't want to eat when they are sick, I want to eat everything in sight. I'm starving all the time. And I want to eat things that aren't good for me. I'm trying to settle for hot chocolate, but it's not working so far. Then I get stressed about getting behind on work and gaining weight.

Obviously, all of that has now led me to complaining. I'm sure people don't really care how bad I feel or that I don't like being sick. Reading back over this post, all I hear in my mind is "whine, whine, whine."