A friend posted on facebook this morning: "Starting to allow myself to be happy." And that got me to thinking ... for hours since I was driving from Richmond to Wilmington.
Do we have the ability to allow ourselves to be happy or, in that case, unhappy? I've known happiness this year. It feels fantastic. When I try to think about what made me happy, it's hard to pinpoint one thing. Happiness is a feeling I get and I know when it happens. But figuring out what causes it isn't easy. And I'm not sure it's within my control.
Trust me. I've been trying to will myself to be happy for weeks now, and it's not working. I spent several months this summer genuinely feeling happy. I felt excited about life and the future. I don't know what's changed, but I do know that I don't feel that same happiness. Being happy is truly addictive. So how do I get it back and then sustain it over time?
I don't know the answer yet, but I intend to put all of my mental energy behind it. I'm tired of feeling mopey. And I know that finding happiness has to come from within. I cannot allow my level of happiness to be affected by other people. You know my motto: "Everything you do, you do to make yourself happy." If that's true, then happiness is within my control. I need to start living by that motto. What have I got to lose?
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Happiness is easier to find in the summer. These cloudy, cold days that we've been having aren't conducive to that feeling. It's exactly why there is a such thing called SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Some people are more prone to it than others.
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