Controlling my thoughts

I had a bit of a meltdown over the weekend. I didn't eat poorly or anything like that, but mentally I was a mess. I think I've discovered that every now and then, I get a little crazy and then I'm OK. Monday wasn't so bad and today I feel like I'm back to normal. I feel fantastic and my positive attitude has returned. The irrational part of my brain took over briefly Monday night, but I was fine the rest of the day. And today I haven't let my obsessive-compulsive behavior get the better of me ... not even once. (Letting it go: Day 2 rating is an 8 ... I've had to work at it, but I've done well.)

Anyway, I'm willing myself to get past this bad patch. I refuse to let negative thoughts dominate. One of the things that helped me get refocused was a social event Monday night. I met about 20 fantastic women who were so nice and encouraging ... in ways that they probably didn't even realize. Many of them don't know about my weight-loss efforts, yet being around them inspired me to reshape my thoughts. Part of the evening focused on swapping clothes we no longer wanted. At first, I didn't even look at the clothes. I couldn't face the idea of seeing so much stuff that would never fit me or just having to think about it. But I got talked into taking a peek. To my surprise, I found a wool dress in my size and I really liked it. I didn't want to try it on and several of the women said it looked too big for me. But it's the smallest size I've fit into so far. So I took it and tried it on at home tonight. It is a little big. (I'll probably wear it anyway, though.) I was shocked. But I was encouraged by the thought that others clearly view me differently than I do myself. And apparently, they are seeing the real me. Those women knew the dress was too big. My brain told me it was going to be too small, which is why I couldn't try it on at my friend's house.

So I feel better. I've still got work to do to get back to my happy place, but I'm so much closer than I was two days ago. Continuous progress ... that's all I can ask for.