Emotional eating

Since I started this journey, I've fought hard against emotional eating. But today I just couldn't fight it. It's been a bad day. Lots of little things and when you put them all together, I just want to cry. I haven't. But I've felt like I could burst into tears at any moment today. Seriously. That's so not like me. I'd say that 99 percent of the time, I'm tough as nails.


I really can't believe how much I ate at dinner ... and I've already eaten the leftovers. I actually feel kinda sick, which then just makes me feel stupid for eating in the first place. I think the problem is that I've allowed my emotions to be affected by other people. That's not necessarily a bad thing, especially since I've spent a lot of my life not being affected by others. I think I need to find a happy medium.

When I have one of these moments, I usually spend time thinking about the cause or how I can respond differently next time. Mostly right now, though, I just wish this day didn't happen. And I wish I had some hope that tomorrow will be better. I don't think it's going to be bad. But I also don't see anything on the horizon that will put a little pep in my step.

I've said it before. Sometimes I just want something good to happen. I know. Good things happen to me all the time. I really have nothing to complain about. I even had a friend who I don't get to see that often tell me that she can't believe the difference in my attitude. She noted that we used to sit around and complain about everything. Now when we get together, she said, I seem so happy and upbeat and cheerful. That was nice because that's how I want people to see me. Well, and, of course, I really want to feel that way.

So what's going to make me feel that way? It's complicated. But I know it when it happens. And, apparently, everyone else notices as well.