I spent about an hour in the bed this morning thinking about what I was going to write today. I had a lot I wanted to say about feeling sorry for myself and starting to wonder why I'm even bothering. The good news is that I've forgotten most of it already. It was clearly a low point.
It's been a stressful week -- in a lot of ways. As usual, my emotions (good and bad) affected my eating and drinking. So I knew the number on the scale wasn't going to be good. I gained a pound and a half this week, bringing my total weight loss to 77.2 pounds. Not surprised that I gained, but it's still disheartening. I've tried to have the right attitude. It's the holidays; a little splurging is to be expected. I want to enjoy time with my family and friends, and I don't want to be obsessive about everything I eat. Plus, I know it drives others crazy when I won't eat whatever is being prepared.
So I'm trying to be calm about the whole thing and just go with the flow. It's only a week. I'll get right back on track next week. Or will I? That's what worries me. Obviously, the backsliding has been occurring more and more. Overall, I'm still losing weight but the progress is quite slow and I can tell that mentally I'm not being as vigilant as I should be about what I eat.
As the one-year anniversary of this journey approaches, I'm simply hoping I will be able to recover and return to my good eating habits in 2011. In the meantime, I'm going to continue to tell myself that losing more than 75 pounds this year (not sure what the final number will end up being, but probably not the 80 I'd hoped for) is a major accomplishment and something to be proud of. If I keep the right attitude about it, I'm sure I will not continue to slip.
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