Why I blog

So I've been surprised several times lately to hear people make a comment about something I wrote in this blog. I didn't even know the person was reading my blog. Of course, I want people to read it, but that's not why I do it. I blog because it's like therapy.

Being able to express what I'm thinking and feeling is a huge step in my weight-loss journey. I've always been very guarded and I don't share stuff about myself easily. That's probably surprising to some people because it's something I work on every day now. I want to trust people. So I've tried to be open and honest with this blog. I've given away more about myself than I ever believed possible.

But it's not easy. I really struggle sometimes with the idea of exposing my weaknesses. And there have been times when I've written a post only to delete it minutes later. There have also been times when I've written something and regretted it later, but I didn't delete it. I think that's progress.

I've found that blogging helps me organize my thoughts, stay on track and face my fears. Sometimes just writing about something allows me to let it go. I was scared to death when I started. I was so embarrassed by every word I wrote. I stressed all the time about what I was saying.

Now, I just type. I write what I'm thinking and feeling. I still get self-conscious when people mention something I've written, but I also feel really good when someone tells me they could relate. I can only hope that others read my posts and realize that we all have issues. We all have weak moments. We all struggle to do the right thing.

Most recently, blogging has helped me stay positive. It's forced me to think about what makes me happy. I even had a great compliment from someone I truly respect today. He said he could really see a difference in my attitude. And I tried to tell him how good I feel about my life right now. I genuinely feel happy.

So I got to thinking today about who's actually reading my blog. I really have no idea. But it turns out there are statistics available. I don't know why I never noticed the tab. It's pretty prominent. And I love studying numbers.

Here's what I found out:

• There are a lot more people reading what I write than I expected. My blog has had more than 800 page views so far this month and more than 2,600 since I started in July. Also, October is my best month so far. I think that's pretty good since I guessed that maybe a handful of people were reading each post.
• The two most viewed posts were the ones where I posted before and after photos. No surprise there.
• I get a lot of page views from people clicking on the links I post on facebook. In the beginning I felt weird about "advertising" my posts. But now it feels normal. How else will my "friends" know when I've written something new?

So the numbers really aren't important. But I do like seeing them. I don't know what I expected. Again, sometimes I write as if I think no one is reading. And then I'm surprised people were. Recently, I've come to feel like it's something I have to do each day. It's like a journal ... that I'm sharing with everyone. For those who are reading, I hope you are enjoying it and don't always think I'm crazy. :-)