Constant vigilance

Since I started this journey in January 2010, I don't think I've had a single day where I ate whatever I wanted. Even when I splurge, it's measured and calculated. I tell myself that I'll just eat a little bit. Or a few bites won't hurt.

Well, that's not exactly true. The more I eat unhealthy foods, the more I want. I really believe that to be true. Limiting sugar this past week was difficult, but worth it. I felt so much better all week, and, of course, I lost weight.

But keeping it up requires constant vigilance. For example, I let my guard down Saturday and had gelato for lunch. It was so creamy and yummy. But I regretted it immediately. I felt guilty for eating it, but then I also felt bad from the effects of the sugar. And maybe it was psychological, but all I wanted to do after eating it was eat more. I ended up making a chocolate milkshake after dinner. (I did use lowfat ice cream, but still ...)

Some days, sticking with my new way of eating feels like so much work. In the grocery store yesterday, I almost bought a box of Kraft macaroni and cheese. Seriously. I have to admit that I actually looked at all of the mac and cheese selections for about 30 seconds. I moved on, but I hate that I was even tempted.

What bothers me is how much I have to think about what I'm eating. I've said it before. If I plan, I stay on track. So that's what I'm doing now. Planning for today and the rest of the week when all I can think about is how I'd like to have pancakes and bacon for breakfast.