I'm not stupid!

So I had meltdown yesterday. I'm working so hard at not letting that happen. But it did. I was tempted to beat myself up and wallow in self-pity. Luckily, I'm getting smarter as I go through this journey.

Even before I went to sleep last night, I felt better. I'd convinced myself that my freak out wasn't a big deal and that the end result was for the best. And I woke up this morning feeling strong in my resolve to move on. I'm not stupid! I don't even know why I'm letting this one particular thing make me crazy and make me do things I wouldn't normally do. So I'm putting yesterday behind me. It helps that a very supportive friend didn't call me crazy when I explained the situation to her and she actually made me feel quite normal. Yes, once again, I'm thankful for the people who are willing to help me through this process. I only hope they know how much their support means to me.

It's been a good day. I've had some self-esteem issues, though. I hardly bought anything when I was shopping today even though everything I tried on was in a smaller size than I've been wearing. I know I should be happy about that. Generally speaking, a size 14 fits me now. I haven't worn that size since high school. I tried on five dresses and they all fit. I didn't buy any of them. Something in my brain stopped me because I don't have anywhere to wear them. Makes me feel pathetic.

But I digress. The point here is that I feel like I recovered from yesterday's breakdown fairly quickly. I think that's a good sign. My mindset right now is positive yet tentative. Does that make sense? I feel good, but I don't yet know how long it will last so I'm being cautious. The one thing I know is that I've felt more centered today than I have in some time. And that's definitely something to be happy about.