Low point!

I knew when I woke up this morning that it wasn't going to be a good day. But I really had no idea where it would end up. The day started with me laying in bed for an hour and a half after the alarm went off ... just thinking. That's never a good sign. And I should have been exercising. So I was kind of down on myself.

Getting ready for work didn't help because my clothes simply don't fit and I was having major self-image issues. I know I should be ecstatic when my clothes get too big. I am, really. But my self-esteem has been pretty low lately. I've been trying to pull myself out of this funk and it was working ... and I guess it still is. I'm doing much better now than I was a couple of weeks ago. The new year has re-energized me and, for the most part, things seem to be moving in the right direction.

So back to today. I went through most of the day fine. I was obsessing (mostly in my head, but not entirely) about what I was wearing. A friend at work even tried to convince me to go home and change if it was going to be that much of a problem for me. It wasn't.

Things were ticking along. Then, somehow, the train just drove right off the tracks. I, unfortunately, was standing on the side of the road looking in the opposite direction, so I never saw it coming. It ran right over me. Smoosh! As usual, no details about work stuff here. But I did end up being there 12 hours today.

And when I left, I felt worse than when the day started. (I'm a little worried about admitting that because my boss does read my blog. But she's well aware of most of my issues.) I was driving home and thinking that there was nothing good about this day.

But that's not true. If you're a regular reader, you probably know by now that I am a hopeful person and some might even call me optimistic, which is crazy since I've spent most of my life being the pessimist in the room. So, of course, I'm going to end this post thinking about the good things that happened today.

1. Someone told me they love getting the paper in the morning. Yes, that does make me happy. Even though most days I hardly feel like I've had anything to do it, I am proud of what my team does and I never get tired of hearing people say they like reading the newspaper.

2. I met a new person at lunch. Truth is I sort of already knew the person because we know a lot of the same people and have been friends on facebook for quite some time. It was really nice to get to know him better and understand his perspective. I'd like to think I can call him a friend going forward.

3. I got an e-mail from someone today that surprised me, yet made me happy. Yes, this is vague. Deal with it. Jump to conclusions if you must. You'll probably be wrong.

4. I had several conversations with people at work today that made me excited about what I do and they reminded why I do what I do ... even on the bad days.

5. Finally, a good thing is that I have this blog. Just acknowledging my issues with self-image and confidence somehow makes me feel better. Some days are so hard. Sometimes, I just wish for something good to happen. That's why it's important for me to remember that good things happen all the time. Just because they aren't what I expected doesn't mean I should discount them.