Why I don't smile

As I get more and more comfortable with having my picture taken (I used to simply refuse before), the fact that I don't smile a lot seems to keep coming up. So I guess it's time I confess the reason. I hate my teeth because they are crooked and just look terrible.

It's been an issue since childhood. When I was I toddler, I apparently fell down some stairs, which resulted in my front teeth being somewhat deformed -- jagged on the bottom and discolored. I don't understand it and don't remember the fall. Anyway, when I was 9 years old, I got caps on my two front teeth and braces. I wore them for about four years. Then, of course, I wore a retainer. I don't remember the details, but apparently something didn't work because my teeth are not straight and I clearly need new caps on my front teeth.

As a result, I've never smiled a lot. I can remember a friend in high school always commenting about it. I don't remember his name, but I clearly remember how he said "smile" every time he passed me in the hallway. He was just teasing, but it made me self-conscious. Now, all these years later, it seems to be happening again. Have you noticed that sometimes when I laugh I cover my mouth with my hand? I know I do it and I've tried to make myself stop but it takes a lot of effort to break that kind of habit.

So you're probably wondering why I don't just do something about it. I guess it's like a lot of things in my life. Up until a year ago, I just didn't bother. It's also one of those mental hurdles that I haven't been able to tackle yet. Maybe this will be the year I take the initiative. Obviously, I am quite focused on self-improvement these days.